beth bikes!

the bermuda triangle and other waxing endeavors

2012-01-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

today is the eve of my team camp excursion. if you haven't heard yet (which i am sure you have, as the few people who read this blog know me personally...) next year i will be racing with the NOW and Novartis for MS team.

when they told me team camp was going to be in bermuda my first thought was.... yeah right! but then i got sent a flight itinerary and realized it wasn't a joke: 1) i really was on on this team for next year - it wasn't a practical joke! and 2) team camp was in bermuda. score!

knowing absolutely nothing about bermuda, i channeled my one reference point: the beach boys song, "kokomo" and immediately started humming: "aruba, jamaica ooo i wanna take you to bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama..."

not feeling a need to fact check the beach boys, i began day dreaming about 80 degree weather bike rides, followed by sitting on the beach. (although, the sitting on the beach part made me a bit nervous, as i knew i would have to deal with me being a bit out-of-control down there, if you get my gist....)

i finally decided to check the weather last week and saw this:

which made me realize, the beach boys' sense of geography is probably just about as good as the beach boys' sense of women (as indicated in the great song "california girls.") so, i decided to look at google maps, and learned some interesting thing about Caribbean geography, the first being that: no, bermuda is not in the Caribbean.

i kindly circled or labeled all of the key reference point in the beach boys song. and, as you can see by the map... although 'bermuda' does kind of near-rhyme with 'jamacia'... it is not close to it.

anyways....

my other reference point for bermuda is, the bermuda triangle.

the bermuda triangle - that place where things get lost and are never found - has recently actualized itself a lot closer to home.

yes, down there.

while talking about the team camp trip the other week to my old teammate susannah, i lamented about being out-of-control, my eastern european heritage, and how i desperately needed to shave before even being seen in boy-cut swim shorts. hey, some people get fat in winter...other people get hairy.

susannah breen, being my trusted source on all things female, replies: "Shave? WTF - you should be waxing. Maybe you could even right if off as a "work expense"".

this, of course, got me thinking...she's genius! however, the thought of putting hot wax on a bunch of hair down there, then ripping it off, really just didn't seem like a good idea.

so i did what i normally do: put it off and tried not to think about it.

and the same thing happened what normally happens when i ignore things...it got more wild, wild west... i mean seriously. totally out of control. the jungle became pretty laughable. "can it get any worse?" "let's see!" it got to the point where i think my boyfriend needed a road-map to maneuver all the detour signs down there. (hi mom!)

anyways....you get the seriousness of the situation.

team camp was getting closer and closer and something had to be done. i decided i was going to make the waxing plunge, but i wanted some more information. what is an appointment like? what kind of wax do i get? where do i go? what do i wear? do i need to trim up? how long does it last? how much further ahead of time should i get it done? i had lots of questions.

so, being an excellent researcher, i did what i normally do when i wanted information: i sat down at my computer, and began typing into google. as i started to get answers, i had more questions.... i learned there were different types of waxes... bikini wax, brazilian wax, french wax, hollywood wax. (predictably enough i did not see hungarian wax, as that is a bit of an oxymoron) .... i sat there contemplating what i wanted, and decided i needed some pictures, and went to images.google.com and started typing but stopped myself just before i hit enter... what the hell was i thinking?!?! i was totally going to give myself a computer virus and open some porno!

i stopped myself, but still needed some answers... so i emailed susannah. who, of course, provided me sufficient detail. susannah gave me some good suggestions. some of which i unfortunately forgot about. "First of all, the hair should be at least 1/4" grown....so you can "trim" if you want, but no shaving of course.... hey, if I'm going to have another woman messing around my lady parts - I want them to get it over with asap." that was sound advice. unfortunately, i forgot it...

so i had to find a place to make my waxing appointment, and instead of basing it off recommendations or yelp reviews, i picked the place closest to my work. this technique typically works well for me, and this one was no different. Serenity Skincare by Nicole - she looked pretty cool on her website.

and cool she was. i gave a call and had my appointment yesterday. she is located in the back of a hair salon. i walk in and immediately say: "i have never done this before. and i am kind of out of control." hey, no use beating around the bush.

so, i am not sure how waxings normally go, but i could have stayed in there for hours. she trimmed, she waxed, we chatted, laughed -- this was a blast! i heard her life story. i left feeling like she was my new bff. as i walked out i gave her a hug.

what? it seemed normal!

anyway, it wasn't until i got back into work and went into the bathroom that i really looked down and was like: holy shit i am bald! i look like i am eleven.

this of course resulted in a freakout for a few minutes. i composed myself, left the bathroom stall, went back to my desk, looked around with shifty eyes...and no one was giving me creepy looks. i know, why would they? it's not like my co-workers have x-ray vision. but for some reason it felt like they should.

so there we have it. i am bald and heading off to team camp. looks like rain.... guess it was all for naught.

2011 wrap up

2011-12-31T17:37:00.000-08:00

it is december 31st and i am spending this day how i spent it two years ago: sick and miserable. i went for a ride today and almost tipped over from going too slow. now i am sitting in my bed with just enough energy to stay awake and look at the massive pile of shit on my dresser than i need to go through, but not quite enough energy to actually do anything productive. i tried about 45 minutes ago and my temperature went up by .2 degrees fahrenheit, so i sat down back in bed, perused facebook, looked at forums i haven't looked at in years, read the new velonews magazine, which was quite un-entertaining. i contemplated getting a new book to start, but the bookshelf is on the otherside of the house...and that seems like an effort. so, then i figured i would blog.

i found a blog post i started in february-- so i figured that would be where i would begin my 2011 season wrap-up. i actually have a lot to wrap-up. i didn't really blog about any races in 2011 (except my drug test at nationals). between all the stage race days and track days, i think i had almost 80 race days.... so, mostly as a way to waste time in my illness, i will open up my usa cycling profile and re-live some memories of 2011. maybe i'll throw some pictures in if i really get bored tonight.... but that is asking a lot.

now, the usa cycling profile is used for a few important purposes:

find out the age of that person that you might potentially be romantically interested in. this is, of course, the most important use of the usacycling.org/results page. of course, you can sometimes lie to yourself, as this displays "racing age," not "actual age" - but it is still fairly accurate. having a mechanism like this is extremely important in a sport where you: a) often see people in helmets, which can hide indications of age, such as baldness, and b) cyclists' skin wrinkle early because of sun exposure and lack of moisturizer. the usacycling.org/results is really an excellent service that USAC provides to cycling singles everywhere. (not that i am a cycling single, but at one time i was, and greatly appreciated this stalking service).
sniff out the competition - it is quite helpful seeing how your competitors are doing. or if you are going to a race with no one you know, see what you have yourself matched up against. however, let's be honest on how i really use the results.... looking up races i didn't do, and saying: "oh, i totally beat that girl in a sprint once a few years ago at the early bird criterium when we were cat4s, so had i showed up, i totally would have won." you can really find anything you want, and thus, everything can be a morale booster.
provide painful memories of missed opportunities in races - yes, it tracks all those bad results that you want to forget about... like that time i clipped my pedal as a cat4 and got 13th in crit... or that time where hanging out on the sidelines just looked more fun than riding in circles... yep, it is all there... forever...

i am so happy that on february 20, 2011 i took the opportunity to do a screenshot capture of my usacycling profile. really, i should've considered retiring permanently so it would look awesome forever.

it really doesn't get better than that.

okay, onto the 2011 wrap-up

san bruno hill climb

for most people, january 1st typically starts with a hangover. except my boyfriend loves to register me for the san bruno hill climb on jan 1 every year. "merry christmas, beth!" uh...thanks! guess we have no new years eve plans! well, i can't actually say i am bummed, because i never really do anything cool for new years eve...

the first race of the year is always a pain, because it is really hard to pack the race bag.

i was actually looking forward to the hill climb last january, because word on the street was that it was a big mass start. that meant i would be able to race my favorite competition: OLD MEN. nothing makes me go faster up a hill, than seeing some old guys in the distance. and given that there are a lot of masters men racers in cycling who sign up for timed events, i was looking forward to picking off the slow ones on the climb and saying "on your left" in the most girly voice i can muster.

however, my whole race plan imploded when they actually started us by category at 2 minute increments. bummer although i didn't get to race along side any men, i at least still had my time. and, as such, i want to mention that i beat ralf medloff. he wasn't too happy about it, so i wanted to announce it to the internets. please note also: his bike was *way* pimped out. lastly, i would like to note that he failed to bring a pump to the race. what kind of professional mechanic is that!?

this here is a very bad picture. unfortunately the photographer missed the total rockstar shot of me holding the girl scout cookies in the air with the "WHOOO!" face, and unfortunately caught me mid motion with a stupid look. oh well, next time.

san jose time trial

not an official usac event, but i pinned on a number and filled out a waiver, so it counts. this is a cool series the san jose bike club puts on - a type of winter training series. the TT course was hard. 15 miles. but there were hills and really turny decents. given that this was my first time racing on a time trial bike, and that i hadn't ever used it on anything more than a 1-2% grade, this proved very tricky.

i was totally planning on beating my boyfriend. we talked shit about it forever. however, out he comes and takes me to a technical course with a decent, that of course i sucked on, and he put mad time into me.

no worries, though, SJBC had my back.

to make their TT series more fun, they give people handicaps. and cause i was a girl, i got a handicap, and my boyfriend didn't - resulting in my just beating him. HA! cheap win, maybe, but i don't care!

2011 - the rest of it

okay. that gets me through, like january 8th. and i am already petering out. i am never going to finish before the clock strikes midnight at this pace. now i will resort to bullet points for the remainder of the 2011 bicycle racing year.

early bird road race - i somehow got dragged to this race, despite being told by my master's men track team there is a hill in it. i didn't really listen to them, because one has to be hesitant listening to trackies who talk about hills. a little bump suddenly becomes a hill. having officially turned roadie, i wasn't going to be scared away. plus, i had just won a hill climb, right? this time, though, they weren't lying. i was the only chick who showed, so instead of making me ride alone, they let me start with the 35+ 1/2/3. this was fun, because i got to race with my boyfriend. he won. le sigh. but i kicked all of his teammates asses. score!
snelling - the highlight of my snelling was being in a break with erinne willock & ali powers. i thought this was pretty rad - as they were like, real professional. and when i saw the photographer on top of a little bump - i made sure to go to the front so i had a cool picture with some PROs. unfortunately our break did not stay away and i barely survived sucking wheels the rest of the race. that is okay, i got a cool photo for life that i can tell people was at a big time race, and not .. snelling...
then there were some stage races: merco and madera. i actually discovered i thought time trialing was fun. unfortunately, i kinda stink at it. (i think my fever is going up, because i am getting a bit delusional in my recollections of "likes"). merco was super fun and i really liked the first stage. madera was okay. the roads seem to get more and more crap each year. and this year, i flatted about 2 miles from the finish, so that sucked.
redlands - i guest rode at my first NRC race. it was very hot and i was very overwhelmed and couldn't figure out how to get a bottle in the feed zone. (okay, now i am getting tired and not so funny...in fact, i can't even recall the stupid shit any longer. but i am almost to april and i must push through)
chico stage race - another really fun race! it was going awesome until the gravel section in the road race. the crit was also going awesome until i crashed myself out being in a two person break off the front with 1.5 laps to go. how do i crash myself out when there is only one other person? i don't think i have to answer that. it's my blog, afterall. but i took it like a grownup and threw my bike in front of a little kid.
copperopolis, wente, berkeley hills: it was the battle of breen/newell vs. werner. the aussie superstar pretty much owned us...but luckily we at least got things right at wente. and that race had the best prizes, so that is what matters. that's the race sponsored by a vineyard, and werner isn't even old enough to drink.
crits: there were some dumb crits that i got roped into doing that i didn't do too well at. (this line might be copy/pasted at several points throughout this bullet pointed list)
mutual of enumclaw - a super fun stage race i went to up in washington. i was trying to win the nature valley grand prix qualifer spot...but didn't. i had a great time racing regardless and at least had a stage win. if you are ever up there during this time of year - definitely do this race! also, i finally got to have the beer "mac & jack's african amber" i had been dreaming about for three years when i had once in seattle...
mt hamilton - goonies never say die. i went from off the front to off the back several times, but molly v-h and i never said die - and i ended up third. i consider this race, perhaps, my biggest accomplishment for the whole year. susannah and i were a bunch of crazies and biked back to the start in san jose... to put in a full 100 miles. ouch.
testarosa velodrome challenge: pascale schnieder (swiss champion in everything) pretty much put on a track clinic for the rest of us. but it was still a really fun race and i felt good sensations for the track season ahead.
mt hood: officially my favorite race of the year. the courses were awesome and painful and just finishing the last stage felt like an accomplishment. had a fun time guest riding with metromint team.
taleo criterium: small but fun race where i won a prize of a palm reading (yet to be cashed in)
nature valley grand prix: had a super fun time guest riding with the vanderkitten team for my second nrc race. i think that first criterium was the hardest race i had ever done. holy mother. i rode behind the world champion, which, in the words of nacho libre, was: pretty sweeeet.
lodi criterium - i was solo for about 35 minutes or so, but it all paid off because i won a bottle wine that i can't even bench press it is so big. it has yet to be cracked open, as we are too lame to have a party
alpenrose velodrome challenge - one of my favorite races of the year! i came a few seconds off the track pursuit record (next year!), did a scratch race not so well...then the rest of the events got rained out. super bummer.
cascade cycling classic - my third nrc race, and this was my favorite by far. except the day where i got a little hypoxic from the elevation. oddly enough my worst stage was the prologue - the stage that most resembles the pursuit....explain that one to me.
mt diablo hill climb - that was pretty stupid in retrospect
some more crits - see crit line above.
tuesday and friday night world track championships - they usually started off with a junior attacking really hard in the first lap of the race (who inevidably ended up pulling out about 20 laps later). i actually had a chance of placing with the men when the races were long enough.
LAVRA race - i went to a track race in LA and ended up riding with the men and getting third in the points race for lapping with a couple others. that was cool, but i still hate LA.
track nationals - that went pretty good for me, but i already wrote about that.

okay, i kicked that out. a few details are missing, the post got more and more boring as it went on... but, i don't sell adds on my blog (like some blogs) - so the quality is shit. maybe i'll add in some pictures later, but i am still going to publish now, because - you read it here first - my new years resolution is i am going to blog at least once a week. that's right. once a week, bitches. hopefully this post will set the bar low.

okay, i am out. michael is making me drink a glass of water...because he is still going to make me race san bruno tomorrow. considering i get winded walking to the bathroom, let's just say i am not so thrilled about it. at least my pathetic crawling up the hill will make for a good blog post. hey, not every year can start off as awesome as it did last year... thank god i at least screen captured it.

on winning a national title & getting dope tested

2011-09-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

as you can tell from the title of this blog post, yesterday i won a national title, and as a result got drug tested. it was in the heptathlon of track cycling, an event called the international omnium. (except, instead of 7 events, it is 6 events...and instead of getting points for doing well, you get points for doing bad....and, thus, you obviously want less points, not more.)

i will not give a play-by-play of the two days, as that is pretty boring probably. pretty much, kit karzen summed it up when he said something along the lines of: "my therapy bills for the last two days are off the charts. it's like: ihatemylife, ilovemylife, ihatemylife, ilovemylife." the event would really be about a hundred times easier if all six events were held in one day within an 8 hour time span, instead of spaced out so much.

so, what does it feel like to win a national title?

let me tell you, it went like this:

i came into the final race with a 3 point lead, so i had a bit of a buffer. the final race is a 500m time trial. when i first started track racing, i figured this was going to be *my* event, as i liked running the 400m. unfortunately i was approximately 100% wrong with my prognostication. i pretty much suck at the event. i mean, if they started timing about 50m after the start line, i think i'd be respectable at it. but unfortunately that is not how the race works.

now, it is no mystery to anyone that my start sucks. but last year, i remember reading a story about tara whitten (the reigning world champion in the event). i guess the year previous she was leading going into the 500m, and lost the title in the last event. the next year, she worked on starts every time she went to the track, and when the same situation occurred she nailed it and won.

this was very inspiring for me, so i followed suit... i did starts at the track for every workout session for the last 6-7 weeks when i was training at the track. and i got good at them. well, good is perhaps an overstatement. good enough. i mean, i at least wasn't embarrassing myself anymore.

and you know what? all that practice and all that visualization was a big, big waste of time. what did i do when it really counted? i got so nervous, i jumped early, false started, and unclipped. i tried to play it cool, as one more false start is a DQ, but i definitely was anything but cool. "just don't false start again, start clean, and you will be fine" i told myself as that clock ticking was going.

if i could describe my start visually, it would be like this: you know when a beginner comes to the track on a rental bike and you see them do their first start ever? weaving down track, then taking several seconds to move 5 meters forward? well, that is pretty much what it looked like. i was pretty much scared shitless at this point, seeing the whole race shatter before my eyes... i heard kevin masker screaming his balls out at me in turn one, and i tried to sprint as fast as i could for the next two laps, all but knowing in the back of my head that there is really no making up for that, and i lost it.

i crossed the finish line and the only emotion i felt was pure despair. i had blown it so incrediby bad. i rolled around for a lap completely devastated.

i came off the track, very sad, and then someone said i won, as lauren hall who was in 2nd place to me going into the event, was only one place ahead of me. i really couldn't believe it. i had just fucked up so royally there is no way i still could have won.

ya know, of all the times riding and training and day dreaming thinking about what it would feel like to win a national title, it never quite played out like that. i more pictured me having a fast ride, screaming, putting my arms in the air, jumping up and down... or something along those lines. ya know, the normal things you feel when you are on an adrenaline high. even after i heard i won, i was still upset about my 500m and in a bit of denial and disbelief that i had actually won.

sarah hammer said to me on the infield right after the race: "that's the omnium for you!"

and i guess that is the omnium for you. 6 races. 2 days. ilovelife, ihatelife.

on getting dope tested

so, like i said... it really didn't set in very quickly. i mean, after such a major f-up, it's hard to actually believe you won something. but i finally believed it when the USADA lady came over to me, and said she was going to be with me for the next hour. my first response?

"can i get a picture." i mean, this was cool shit - getting drug tested!

after the picture was taken, i said: "do i have to wait an hour? i can go now." i am not overly confident about a lot of things. but finishing my dinner plate and being able to pee-on-demand, are too thinks that i am quite confident about. she was surprised i was so ready to go, so she said okay and walked me through the track to the upstairs.

anyway, we walk inside and she has some paperwork, and i see on the top of the form it says: "Address, Zip, Phone."

now, to say i was still pretty rattled about the 500m is an understatement. as i was walking into the room, all i could think was: i can't remember my address. is it 4727 or 2742. now, in my defense, we had just moved about 4 weeks ago. but still, that is pretty stupid i am 29 years old and can't remember my address. address, phone number, and right/left is pretty much the first test one must pass in kindergarten. and here i am. when did i become such a dumb jock?

so getting drug tested goes like this. i take the cup and walk into a stall, and this lady starts following me in. i pretty much give her the WTF?!?! look, and then realize: a) oh, they probably do that so you don't do anything shady, and b) i had just walked into the little stall, as opposed to the big stall, and it is quite a bit cramped in here. as i try to close the door of the little stall, she suggests we move to the big stall, she is the professional here, so i comply.

"so how much do i need to pee?"

she points to the 90ml -- which is about half a cup.

at that point, i get a bit nervous. as, when i was all: "oh, i can pee now...i can pee anytime...look how awesome i am" to the USADA lady when she told me she'd be with me for an hour - i thought she just needed a little pee. i can always pee a little. but half a cup is kinda a lot.

but if there is one thing i learned this week, it is: don't underestimate yourself!

so, i gave it go, and figure i'd do what i can. i had a few tricks up my sleeve to generate more urine if necessary, and i thought i could make the half a cup.

so i started peeing...... and missed the cup. fuck i though. that was valuable milliliters! however, just like after the first day of the omnium, i recomposed, made a straight line in, and made it was up to 140ml no problem, without even using my extra-pee techniques such as leaning forward or pushing on my belly. i screwed on the lid, and then wanted to pee a little bit more. but then i felt kinda awkward about it...as that lady was still standing there. i mean, it is one thing peeing in front of a lady when you are peeing in a cup...but it is a bit more weird to pee in front of a lady when you are just peeing in the toilet bowl. so, i decided i would hold it.

then came part two, transferring my pee into the different A and B sample glass containers. that was pretty uneventful. i was just happy i didn't spill any of my pee on the table.

then came part three: declaration of supplements.

USADA GUY:what supplements do you take?

bethbikes!: uhh, i take iron pills

USADA GUY: how often? when was the last time you took one?

bethbikes!: uhhh....when i remember.

USADA GUY:how often is that? when was the last time you remembered?

now, how does one honestly answer this question.? i think the most honest answer would be: i remember to take my iron about as often as i "remember" to do my core work. which would translate into: "three times a week on a good week, but once every 6 weeks is not uncommon."

then came the dreaded next part....my address. i still couldn't remember. 4727 or 2742. 4727 was what first came to my mind, but i was having second thoughts. what the hell is wrong with me? i went with my initial instinct, as i remember someone giving me that advice once when deciding between answers on multiple choice tests. 4727 i tell him. then, i clumsily explained that i had just moved and was really anxious and overwhelmed at the moment and not thinking too great. he told me to come back if it was wrong and they would re-write my form.

i went down for the awards ceremony, found michael and asked him what our address was. "2742" he replied. of course, i thought. i pretty much had freakout number 17 of the day. anyway, we walk back up, and they easily correct it.

i am just thankful i don't have to walk down the street and knock on the door of a crackhead's house to track down my "U.S. Anti-Doping Drug-Free" letter.

and that is a wrap.

you know you made it...

2011-08-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

...when you get to tell people you are a cover girl [of the local weekly entertainment paper.]

so, there was definitely some creative licensing with some facts... but, hey, otherwise it would have been a pretty boring story for the reporter to write.

the best part? on tuesday i got to tell someone: "i can't make an appointment cause i have a photo shoot."

if you live local, pick up a hard copy of the East Bay Express. if there are actually people out there who still read my blog, despite not having updated since december, here is the internet version. maybe this is just the kick in the pants i need to start blogging again.

maybe.

wrapping up 2010

2011-02-08T13:41:00.000-08:00

cause my boyfriend started blogging again, i figured it was about time to start again too. i realize that february 8th is pretty late to be wrapping up last year, but i don't care.

since we last spoke, what's been up? well, this required me to sift back to my blog and jog my memory about happenings...

1. keirin cut update

beth bikes! dropped the ball on that one. those guys even agreed to send over a few pants if i got sizes, but then i forgot cause i am lame. i bet i am too late now. foiled again.

2. bike riding

i have been doing a lot of it. last i wrote about bike riding.... was.... well, nationals in october. below are a few highlights since then.

highlight #1 - track camp

maybe a week after nationals, i headed back down to LA for a USA development team pursuiting track camp.

getting to the camp was a bit difficult, because: 1) motivation to train the week after nationals was a bit lacking, to be honest. thankfully, the boyfriend made me do some intervals in the between nationals and camp so i didn't suck balls too much, 2) i had to talk my work into letting me take another week off...even though i have more than used my vacation time. luckily my boss was really understanding, 3) i had to drive all the way by myself. considering michael usually chauffeurs me around, the drive to LA was very lonely, 4) i didn't have a bike to use for camp (as mine was broke bigtime after my sweet cyclingnews crash at nationals) ...but they let me go on a rental bike. now, these aren't the normal hellyer rental bikes. they put me on a sweet carbon teschner~ so i felt super cool.

i am having a hard time remember too much about track camp, which is probably why you shouldn't write blogs 4 months late... but let's just say, we did some team pursuiting, and i learned a lot about it!

i had a real fun time at camp. thanks to usa cycling for inviting me & for letting me borrow one of the team bikes, there was another camp in november, but i couldn't make it do to the real job...but maybe next time!

highlight #2 - off season

kingsburg criterium

off-season began with the kingsburg criterium. yep - you heard me right! the next weekend we went to the central valley for some good times at the kingsburg criterium. course was super fun~ we had a field size of four or five - but it was still a really fun race & course! i won bunches of primes (and the race!) - so after the race, it was like michael & i were on a shopping spree in fresno.... we went to 3 or 4 different bike shops/sporting good stores to spend gift cards we won, then had a luxurious 3-course meal the next day at some steak restaurant. (funny, as we are pretty much vegetarians). we stayed with some nice folks in fresno then crashed the steven's bicycles ride the next day, which was a blast! riding in fresno pretty much rules.

redding!

maybe two weeks after the fresno adventure, i had to be up in redding for work - so we stayed an extra day or two to do some riding. riding up in redding was awesome. it was maybe some of my favorite riding all year long. i have been a big fan of the mapmyride website for several years for this very reason... you can just type in any city and find some really cool rides. i've used both it in california and ohio - and it is great for finding cool bike routes when you are on vacation. here was day 1 and day 2 - check them out if you are ever in the area.

redding is full of pretty riding, as you can see!

this was our ride the first day... we didn't write down our directions quite well...after we figured out where we were, we found this map... sometimes road names are for locals-only... as in the road changes names or three roads have the same name....

the second day, we crashed a parade. unfortuantely the picture didn't come out of me next to the marching band... so you just have to visualize it.

this is the shasta dam - very beautiful area!

also, if you are in redding, be sure to check out the sundial bridge-- it is pretty cool!

reno!

the week after the redding adventure, we went to reno! [this must have been mid-november?] (that's right, that was 3 weekends of fresno, redding, reno traveling). i got to crash my boyfriend's team camp! the guys were super nice to let me tag along on their weekend of group rides ~~ thanks fellas! i had so much fun in reno-- it was great riding up geiger...and just all around... loved it!...

and i didn't even freeze my butt off too much because 1) it wasn't too cold yet, as it was only mid-november... and 2) my inner ohio blood came out & i toughed it out.

i sadly don't have any pictures of the reno adventure - but it was good times, to say the least!

my new team!

i am a part of a women's road team for 2011 -- fremont bank cycling. i am pretty excited to be racing with the ladies of this team, as they are all super nice. in december i got to do a few rides with some of my teammates on both the men & women's side. again, i don't have any photos. but our kits are supercute and baby blue- so there you have it!

new bikes!

fall was a time for new bikes.

road bike: my neuvation ... well, it was time to upgrade. i'll leave it at that. i was looking for a new-to-me (aka used) bike... and thank you to my most wonderful bike sponsor annabell. annabell sold me her beautiful old giant road bike - which was in pristine condition! i love it! that bike kicks so much ass... it is undefeated & has five wins under it already. don't let people tell you it isn't the bike. it is!

track bike: as you all know, my bike broke at the nationals... this too was annabell's old bike. (she is my bike sponsor!) i thought a lot about what bike to get, and then i talked to dave tiemeyer, and there was no more thinking needed!

my bike is getting painted as we speak!

here it is -- pre getting tempered and painted....

when you get a tiemeyer, you can get a custom paint job....and of course i wanted an orange bike! but full orange is a bit much, so I wanted something orange and white. mr. tiemeyer sent me a picture of cari higgins' bike and suggested i do something like that.... i didn't know how best to tell mr. tiemeyer what i wanted, so i figured i would use MSPaint to display my preferences...

my bike will look like cari's, except the blue will be orange & beth bikes! will be writting on the top tube! then i realized there was one major flaw with this picture.....

so i put my head on cari's and sent it back to mr. tiemeyer. i hope he liked it!

alright... i guess that is about it for 2010. it was a fun year. and i am ready for an even better one in 2011. ...and one where i blog more regularly.

peace out, bitches.

keirin cut proposition

2010-10-29T14:37:00.001-07:00

just a quick friday afternoon update!

last night i received an email back from the good folks at outlier.

Hi Beth, Much apologies, your email came as quite a shock to us, we certainly did not name our pants with the intention of robbing or offending anyone. We were not in anyway actively aware of your keirin cut campaign. However in digging through our old emails we did find someone sending us a link over 25 months ago to your site. It’s a great name and likely stuck with us while the source of it regrettably did not. We’ve added a link and acknowledgment to our site. If you’d like to chat further, please give us a call at our office and we’ll be happy to chat. Best regards and apologies for any confusion.

a very nice letter, indeed and thanks very much for the response and link on your website. of course i did not have the name trademarked, nor am i much for legal snafus with small, homegrown businesses.

i thought about it long and hard on my whole 15 minute commute home, and decided there is only one true course of action: the keirin cut dungarees must go to the test!!!

there is lots of skepticism about these pants because of this skinny model, who clearly does not belong in the big-quad club.

i mean. i don't even think he could squat the bar.

do these pants actually fit big-quaded keirin riders like they claim? i think they need to be put to the test.

i propose the following folks be testers:

#1 - dana feiss

u.s. national keirin champion. dana feiss has big quads. i still remember the day i first saw them one and a half years ago. i still shudder at the memory.

and thanks pat benson for the bitchin' photo!

here is dana walking to her start. do you see those quads?! i mean, she could crush that guy standing on the hood of the car. will these pants really fit her?

#2 - giovanni rey

no one has bigger quads than gio. no one. and even if they have a bigger measurement... proportionally speaking, no one has a bigger quad measurement. gio's quads are so big, he can really only ride a bike, as he must slightly waddle to walk because of the ginormous muscle he possesses.

i think this side shot really speaks for itself.

i mean, gio's quads are so big, he can't even wear normal clothes. only spandex. so if these dungarees can fit him, then i think i will definitely approve of the keirin cut name.

#3 steven beardsley

i mostly choose steven beardsley as tester number three... because, well, no one is really any damn funnier. i mean, he wears pink. he team is the gentle lovers. and, yeah, his quads are pretty damn big too.

and he's even done really well in some keirins even though he is an enduro.

#4 jennie reed

lastly, who better to be testing the truth of dungarees more than WORLD KEIRIN CHAMPION jennie reed?

yeah, jennie has turned enduro this year. but her quads are still huge. i know because i touched them in seattle this summer. and trust me, they were solid. it is rare you see quads that are just as big at the bottom part of the quad, than the top of the quad. that is what it takes to be world champion.

and world champions need pants!!!

what makes you think that world keirin champion will test your pants. well, she became my facebook friend. finally. so she does what my blog tells her to do.

so, mr. abe- are you game? will you undergo a testing of your pantalons with some real keirin riders? if they fit, i will be more than happy for you to use the name.

if they do not, i kindly ask you to change the name to some lame-sounding endurance event like: scratch style or olympic style omnium make, or madison leg....

and

secondly: make some jeans for women using my test models for sizing. that was the whole point of my campaign anyway!

dear keirin cut robbers

2010-10-28T13:51:00.001-07:00

dear outlier tailored performance:

hello keirin cut robbers. let me introduce myself. my name is beth bikes! beth newell to my close family and friends, but you can call me beth bikes! because i do not like you. but you must already know my name because you stole my idea from me.

i recently was informed by one of my loyal bloggers of this!

did you ask for the right to use my totally awesome name???

NO!

why didn't you ask?! because you know there would no one in hell that i would grant you access to my awesome keirin cut name~ $188 pants? really?! are those NJS approved? i'd never be game for such brooklyn boutique bullshit!!

and lastly, they aren't jeans! we don't need pantalons. cotton stretches regardless. we want denim keirin cut. and your stupid model has skinny legs! can't you do anything right?!?!

it was much more easy to find your email address than michael ball's. and so i am going to publish it to everyone.

OUTLIER@OUTLIER.CC

please send them an email. it can go something like this:

dear outlier tailored performance:

you stole beth bikes! idea for keirin cut jeans. and what did you give her? nothing! she should be rightfully compensated for her brilliance THAT YOU STOLE.

sincerely,

you name.

i am so mad i can't even blog anymore.

Elite Track Nationals

2010-10-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

Nationals went awesome for me ~~ with the great support of Team Bell Lap and sponsors!

I especially want to thank MRBerkeley.com for paying for my reg fees. Nationals was super expensive this year... over $350~~ so thanks so much for the support in helping me get to the races. I wouldn't have been able to do it without your help!

I also want to thank ROCKTAPE. Dude, that shit is magic! I have been getting really sore in my inner quads during my pursuiting~~ so I taped up right where it normally hurts. Greg was cool enough to get me ORANGE tape at the SF GrandPrix... which if you don't know me is my favorite color! I didn't fatigue at all (well, that is a lie... i did fatigure, it is a pursuit! i guess i meant to say i didn't noticeably fatigue in that certain spot)-- and it let me get a PR and bronze medal!! Also, my last day, my legs were hurting pretty good, so I taped up even more... and that day my legs felt the best. While I should have been hurting good by that time in the day, I was feeling like a champ and could attack the hell out of the points race! So, thanks RockTape!!

Lastly, I want to thank my AWESOME teammates for all the support and advice this year. They were awesome. Thanks Brian for coming down to offer support during the nationals! Thanks Tom and Steve for letting me borrow your wheels! Thanks to Ted for being my promoter and making me laugh & give me good intimidation techniques. And thanks to everyone else for all the support and encouragement! I can't wait to ride with the team bell lap next year for track races!

Okay, let's get to the cool pictures! Pat Benson took some killer photos of me during the racing, so i will put them first. Then a bit of race reporting below if you have time and will to read it!

Let's start with the cool ones!

Here is me in the 500m~ thanks Tom for the wheels

Pursuiting~~ thanks Pelaez for the wheel borrow!

Pursuit with my dopey face

pursuit podium!

here is me lapping the field with kim geist in the points race qualifier!

this is me before the points race. i may look nice... but i am ready to crush. (note the handlebars)

Then this crash happened.... I made it in cycling news! My bike frame dented, but my handlebars REALLY dented. I had to get a swap out from San Jose junior Ryan Gaddow. The bars were too big for me. And I hurt my shoulder, so I couldn't really stand-- but you can see Ryan's bars in the best of the photos.

here is me off the front with heather albert. i was off the front with her a lot last week.

here is me sprinting for points

and here is me attacking off the front, right after the crash. rrrrr.

and here is the points race podium-- 4th place. just one point off third! but i look pretty badass in the photo.

Race 1: Omnium-- Wednesday/Thursday

This is actually a new track race. The president of the international cycling body made this event specifically for the Olympics in 2012. There is a limit in how many races/medals can be given out in cycling. With the addition of BMX to the Olympics, this meant other cycling disciples had to lose events. This event is kind of like the pentathlon of track & field. You have six events over the course of 2 days and you are placed in each event (1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, etc.)—the person with the lowest points wins. I was riding with Sarah Hammer, who is currently the world champion, and Cari Higgins, the reigning national champion. So it was some pretty good competition!

Day 1: There were 4 events on day1.

Timed flying 1 lap race (which is 250m). I got a really good time in here, which placed me 5^th. I was 2 one-thousands of a second off a second off of 4^th place and 1 tenth off of 3^rd place, so that was a bummer.. but oh well.
Points Race: This is a race that was 80 laps long. Race didn’t quite go my way—I got some 5th places (which is no points), then a lap went without me. Then I had to use a lot of energy to pick up points by being out there solo for 9 laps. I ended up 6^th
Elimination Race: This has been my best race all summer—I’ve scored really high with fields of 30-40, so I was expecting a high placing here. This is a race with no forgiveness, cause if you mess up, you are out. And I was out—got 8^th place. I was really bummed, because this moved me down in the omnium big time. I was now sitting 6^th place....
3000m TT: This is a 12 lap race—where you are on the track with one other person on the opposite side… you ride as hard as can and get timed. It is like the mile. I had a person best here, and ended 5^th, again missing 4^th place by .1 of a second…which was a bummer…. I was now again 5^th place overall. I was only 1 point out of 4^th and 2 points out 3^rd. I really wanted bronze medal. 6^th place was close to me too

Day 2: 2 events to finish it off.

Scratch Race: I knew I had to do well in the first event, as the second event is my weak event. I needed a top 5 for sure. I was riding well, staying in position for the sprint. The world champ lapped the field, then went to the front and strung it out and there was very little movement from that point forward, and I ended up 8^th. It was a big bummer.
500m: this is a 2 lap race from a stand still start. It has been my weak event. I ended up with a personal best time for me, and ended up 6^th in the event, but it wasn’t enough to get me 5^th place. I was pretty bummed, as I wanted at least a top 5 to get on the podium… but that is racing.

Race 2: Scratch Race

On Day 3, I had 2 races, the scratch race and pursuit. In the scratch race, rode extremely well in the race the entire time—I was off the front and making the race happen. The announcer kept yelling my name! There were lots of “sprinters” in the field- so I was trying to make the race hard to tire them out. Unfortunately, it didn’t quite work. I wasn’t in good position for the final 4 laps, and ended 10^th.

Race 3: 3km time trial/Pursuit

This is the same race I had done the day before. I got a better feel for the track and knew I could go faster. I also borrowed my Steve's super sweet wheels, and they were so fast—so I knew I’d be going faster! I went out really hard… about 1.5 seconds faster than the day before. I just couldn't help myself~~ the wheels just got me up to speed so fast! By the last 3 laps, I was seeing double lines on the track. I finished and found out I got a 3:56, this was 3 seconds faster than I had done—so I was jazzed!

I couldn’t walk down the stairs to get to the infield, and had to hobble. This put me in 3^rd place. This also meant I had to ride again, because I made it into the bronze medal round. I wanted to die and didn't think I could ride again!

I had a while to recover and kept warmed up the whole time, so my legs didn't seize up. For the bronze medal ride, I went out fast, but not as fast as last time. My strategy was to not die so much in the end. I could hear the announcer telling me I was up. All my friends were yelling loud, and it just pushed me to go faster. In the end, I finished with 3^rd! I was so happy! This is my first year doing this race, so to get 3^rd was huge for me! I took off 20 seconds from the first time I did the pursuit~ so that was sweet! I know I will only get faster!

Race 4: Points race

My last race was the points race. There was a qualifier and a final. In the qualifier race, I got away with Kim Geist and lapped the field. So, then I made it to the final.

The final was 100 laps. I was feeling really good, and my plan was to take some early points, then make the field really tired by attacking alot, and try to take a lap about half way through. Unfortunately, just as I was about to make my move, I was involved in a crash. I hit pretty the boards pretty hard. My handlebars bent, dented my frame, ripped my skinsuit. Field got neutralized. I got my bars changed, and got in the race. Thanks Ryan Gaddow for the bar loaner. The bars were too big for me, and my right shoulder hurt, so I couldn't really stand up....

The neutralization gave everyone a chance to recover and rest, which changed the race dynamic. Race re-started and I attacked a lot trying to get away, but everyone was fresh. I still got some points and was doing well, but with only 50 laps left, I could get the field tired enough to get a lap. I ended up 4^th—only 1point out of third, so that was a big bummer. But, knowing how good I felt in this race, made me realize I have the ability to win in the future.

In conclusion:

All in all, a good nationals. I got a 3^rd, 4^th, 6^th, and 10^th—and showed myself well. I know I can do better… so just have to wait until next year!!

because everything on my blog comes true.....

2010-09-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

when is the world championship team going to be selected? did i miss an announcement? the race is a mere 16 days away.... i have heard that people like to peak for that race, so announcing a team 2 weeks out might be a good idea.....

as i was wondering about who was going to represent the USA for the women this morning, and i couldn't find an announcement, so i figured it hadn't been decided yet. i figured the best thing i could do to incite a quick announcement from the powers that be, would be to blog about it... because apparently my blog has a very good track record of getting things done.

proof?

jennie reed became my facebook friend! yeah!
i got an nrc race taken off the calendar.

unfortunately, nothing has ever happened with those keirin cut jeans, but goonies never say die.

anyway, although i was just wondering who was going to be on the team, i figure i may as well use my influence to say who i would like on the team.... i know shelley olds already has an automatic spot because she won the pan-am championship. but here are my two requests of who i would like included on the A-team this year. i feel confident usa cycling will take bethbikes! suggestions as law.

#1. kat mattis

i got to eat mexican food with kat mattis at the madera stage race this year, and upon listening to her talk for one minute, i decided i had a friend crush on her. she's smart. she's fast. she's wise. she can suffer. she is a good teammate. she knows racing. and she has had some amazing results this year. and she is super cool. i heard a stupid rumor she is retiring after this year, and i didn't like that one bit, so instead of listening to such hogwash, i just put my fingers over my ears and said "la la la la" really loud. anyway, i think she would make a really excellent addition to the world championship team for USA.

#2 theresa cliff-ryan

well, i have not had the pleasure of meeting this lady, but i am super duper impressed my her. i saw her at track nationals last year, and because i was a dipshit and didn't make the points race final, i got to witness her guts, smarts, and speed on the bike, as i watched from the stands. watching someone perform a good points race can be like watching something in the theater arts. i heard about her winning the gold in the points race championship in the pan-american games. a good points racer can do anything, so i was not surprised to continuously see her name in all the big road racing results all year long. it would also be wise to include her on the A squad.

there are lots of other most excellent additions, but i will leave that for people to contribute to in the COMMENTS section on my blog. but just remember, i am the influential one, so my top two choices will be the designated names. and i predict an announcement by wednesday or thursday... cause my blog really does get things done quickly.

be my friend, damnit!

2010-09-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

so i haven't really written a post about the fsa grand prix. but i will, i promise!

last year the highlight for me was the pre-race bbq. jennie reed was there. i was very excited, she had a piece of the pie i made. so i felt cool.

this year, i show up at fsa and jennie reed says to me: "hi beth." not just hi, but hi beth, which means she knows my name. she also said: "good job at alpenrose" which means she knew i did well. this made me feel special.

she was racing that weekend (watch out world, she is out of retirement!), and i got to race with her! i had raced against jennie reed once before. bethbikes! early, loyal followers from 2007 might remember these pictures. this was from the first american velodrome challenge, also known as beth's third track race ever! eek.

there is me "match sprinting" jennie reed.

i was also creepy and got my friend to take a picture of our quads.

anyway, i was really looking forward to racing with jennie and i even have some pictures to prove of it.

(i labeled the important people.)

anyway, after the scratch race, jennie told me i made a nice move with three laps to go. after the points race, we chatted in the warmup circle for quite a while. and after the racing, she even got into the quad measuring party!

62cm

i thought we were so cool.

that is, until michael uploaded the fsa pictures to facebook, and i tried to tag jennie. but couldn't. because we weren't friends.

awaiting friend request? c'mon! i thought we were cool!

i went through the stages of grief.

denial: maybe she just doesn't facebook very often...and hasn't added people.

but then i see this.

anger: why is she friends with hanan and not me?!

bargaining: maybe if i just sent her a private message hello, she will add me, as it was just an oversight. no dice.

depression: a few sleepless nights.

acceptance: maybe she is just creeped out my the quad measuring.... or something.

so there we have it. i can still dare to dream, though.

podium posing like the pros

2010-08-31T21:21:00.000-07:00

two weekends ago, i got to see how the real pro men do podium poses, at the elite state track championship.

podium shots aren't just about looking good for the pictures, but they are also about making a statement.

and roman kilun had a couple of statements to make.

the last race of the day was the madison and roman had a few things he wanted to make clear.

shot #1:
the superhero stance. also known as, you might be bigger than me, but i am better than you.

sometimes roadies come to the track, and they feel a bit....uh... skinny? their upper body is puny and their quads are small. in such situations, roadies can feel a bit more beefy and secure by asserting their presence by taking up physical space. this is done best by assuming a super hero stance, with wide stance and arms on hip. roman displays this perfectly on the podium.

as you can see, everyone on steps two and three is looking off into the distance, averting eye contact, smiling awkwardly, and pretending they don't care that they got lapped.

also, by standing near the front of the podium in a wide stance, he makes it clear to the world that the only reason the lap was taken was because of him. as you can see, his partner just stands squeamishly in the background and waves his hand in the air as if saying: "hey mom, i was there too!"

shot #2:

roman also shows in this second podium shot for the madison, that he is.... well, honestly, i am not sure what to make of it. let me think...

no, i don't think that is roman's style.... really, i think it was more along the lines of this...

"It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A. You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal...."

seems a bit odd, but roman is getting married soon, so perhaps he was doing a little bit of practice for the reception...?

it would have been really cool if he could have snuck in a fireman's hat- but maybe he is saving that one for the national championship. he is doing the team pursuit there, so let's hope that dr. kay can get the rest of roman's teammates to show up on the podium in full-on village people garb.

my shades are cooler than your shades: numa optics

2010-08-25T15:09:00.000-07:00

it's true.

i pretty much purchase the cheapest sunglasses i can find: i go the $5.99 walgreens route. that is probably why i am pretty much blind as a bat without my contacts in.

a couple months ago, michael had some white shades sitting in the car that he said were too small for his big head. so i put them on. Immediately my bad-assery went up 10 points. these were cool. so i did what any wise person would do: i immediately stole them.

i wore these badass sunglasses pretty much just on special occasions on race days when i knew people would be out to take pictures. i didn't want to wear them more often, because i scratch things and stuff...

but one day, i ended up wearing them on a trip to the oaktown liquor store. now, for those of you yuppies that live in marin or the peninsula, let me tell you what a real east oakland corner store is like.

milk selection: whole milk only.
malt liquor selection: pretty much an entire refrigerator (or two) is devoted just to forties. i mean, variety is important for consumers.... you need old english, colt 45, schlitz, mickey's, country club, and let's not forget the old staple: steel reserve.
microbrew selection: if you are lucky, maybe 1. but i am proud to report that since we moved in a few months ago, this has slowly been increasing to now, a few different varieties! coincidence? i think not.

anyway, oaktown is a pretty solid corner store. they also stock cutie pies (the hostess fruit pie knock off), which is awesome.

anyway, one summer day a few weeks ago, michael and i walk in to stock up our fridge with a variety of malt liquors and whole milk for the week. now, i have to be honest, sometimes at the checkout of oaktown, i do feel a bit out of place. but not this day. dude in line behind us, who had a full-on grill, says to me: "sweet shades!" and my cool points went way up, almost to the point where i wanted to put my arms in the air and yell: "i got street cred, bitches!" ... but that wouldn't have been so cool. so, i played all chill and gave a chin nod, and said thanks as nonchalantly as possible.

ever since this encounter, i have been wearing these sunglasses more frequently in my neighborhood. one evening a couple of weeks ago, i decided to see who the hell made these things, as i had no clue. i saw a website on the inside of the sugnlasses: www.numaoptics.com

i went to their website thinking to see some sweet hip hop artists or something, only to be disappointed to find some lumberjack with snow on his beard on the homepage. (the dude at oak-town would not have been so impressed.)

anyway, i noticed their links to their facebook page were wrong on their homepage...so i decided to be a good citizen and fill out the "contact us" form on their website and let them know. i also thought i would tell them my story about oaktown liquor store and how much bethbikes! likes the sunglasses in general.

low-and-behold i actually got an email back! and they said they would sponsor me! boo yah! my shades came in the mail yesterday, and let me say, they are pretty sweet. i got a hot pink pair to add to my white pair. i also got some clear, and rose, & blue lenses so i can wear them on the indoor track and at night races. the optics on them are pretty damn sweet. not to mention, the badassness of them.

of note: i found out they are widely used amongst the crazy militia men, as evident here. so if anyone ever shoots a bazooka at me during a race, it is comforting to know that my sunglasses will still be in tact.

anyway, i look cool. and that is what is important. so, check out my shades at the races and check out numa optics website. i am sure lots of pictures of me in them will be showing up on my blog in the weeks and months to come (as i typically only publish pictures of myself...) but here are a few starters, so you can see the cool shades.

you know who i feel sorry for? that poor girl in the upper left side of my helmet of the above photograph.

let me zoom in.
do you see her sunglasses? ugly. straight out of 1983. get with it.

and a big thank you to pat benson for these amazing photos!

alpenrose velodrome challenge

2010-08-12T07:46:00.000-07:00

so i know i am very behind on my blog posting. it is a bit late to report on alpenrose, it seems. you can read my team blog post here -- where i talk a little bit about the racing.

other than that, i think i will just post some pictures and write some text in between....

this is me and m driving up. he was making try to use his telephone to look at the internet, but i find phones with internet very annoying, so thus my scowling face.

we get to the track on thursday and go for a little spin. we are so lucky to be staying with awesome folks, marcia and eric who cook us spaghetti! then we pick up brian from the airport.

friday morning i have the pursuit.

here is a picture of me all pursuit dorkage. but i am not wearing a funny hat. (but i do have one now, it just came in the mail!) i was very happy with my pursuit, except my awful start, where it pretty much looks like i did a standing start for the first time ever. 3, 2, 1. me sit back down wobble to the right, left, and then finally gain balance to stand up and move forward. it was pretty embarrassing. the video michael took of it is pretty laughable, especially his commentary: "c'mon, c'mon" willing me forward. later that night was the 500m. my start wasn't much better.

friday started the mass start events. thank god! look at all these LADIES! whoooo! this was the start of the scratch race!

here is me riding at some point during the race.

this is with 2 to go in the scratch race. someone has a good wheel! hehehe

and this is me on the podium! i guess i need to learn how to do the sexy leg shot! oops.

later that day, i had the honor of doing the team sprint with none other than mary glen carassco. ooooooo.

i made her go lap 2 because i didn't want her to drop me at the start!

my nieces came to do the kiddie kilo and rocked it!

my mom was also in town to watch! hi mom! (look i didn't even say a swear word that time!)

that was it for saturday -- short day! sunday started with some keirins.

here is me in the rep round.

this is the finish of the rep round. i won it believe it or not! it was the best keirin i had ever ridden!

then was the miss 'n out. my favorite race!

i spent a lot of time here.

and here. oh wait, that looks like the same spot, doesn't it? but that was all okay, because it landed me here for the final lap.

2nd, not so shabby!

it landed me on the podium again.

but this is a better podium shot. yeah, quads!

then i did a lot of this. it was getting hot.

but i have the best boyfriend ever who made me shade! mwah!

then i had the keirin final. this was me waiting with all the sprinter girls before they crushed me. my quads might be big, but their quads are definitely bigger.

that is okay: next up, points race. this wasn't a very good race for me. my head wasn't in it the first couple of sprints. i got in a few breaks that didn't go anywhere. then i got in the winning break, but we didn't lap quick enough for it to matter for me, as i needed more points from sprint laps, in addition to lapping point. oh well. still go 5th.

here is me off the front with kira for awhile

and this is the final breakaway of 5 in the race.

whew. then i was done. i ended up 4th in the overall omnium for the weekend! that got me some extra cash! and i got the "top hellyer" award, which got me more cash! who knew! it was an awesome race. oh wait, not done yet!

still had to watch the flying lap with my nieces and yell at all my friends!

and take a cute picture with them before i left.

and to the real MVP of the weekend: BRIAN PETERSON! for being the best teammate, mechanic, coach, friend, cheerer ever. we love you brian!

someone tell me this is a typo!

2010-08-09T17:16:00.000-07:00

in my spare time of perusing cycling news, i thought i would check out the NRC calendar. i saw that this race-- US10k-- is listed as the last women's NRC race.

someone please tell me-- is this US10k really a women's NRC race?! because i am hoping it is a typo and actually a men's NRC race.

why?

i looked at the race flyer...

and it says the women's NRC race is:
-category 1/2/3/4
-10km long...
-$2000 payout.

while the men's non-NRC race is:
-category p/1/2
-100km
-$10,000 payout

that's gotta be a typo, right?

they wouldn't make a women's NRC race 6 miles long with category 4 riders.... i mean, the discrepency between the men and women's race is glaring enough, but considering it is a women's NRC race (and not a men's NRC race...)-- that is just insulting and outrageous.

i am hoping it is a typo. if anyone knows more, please comment! that is ridiculous!

far west championship

2010-08-04T13:23:00.000-07:00

so i heard a rumor from alfred nash that the current world champion of the international omnium and points race, tara whitten, was going to be coming to the far west championship.

i was a bit skeptical.

...errr, intimidated.

i guess she was really jealous that I was the reigning 'far west champion,' and she wanted to add that title her laurels. i mean, who wouldn't? it was definitely the highlight of my 2009!

when michael and i show up, we see peter bohl get out of his van. man, we can't get rid of that guy! him and lala had apparently gotten up at 3am to drive down, and were driving back that night. crazy guy! it was a big hellyer contingent, which was awesome. nash loves us and gave us lots of nice shoutouts on the microphone. thanks nash!

nash was running one helluva race: full national qualifier plus new olympic style omnium. i think this was the first-ever olympic style omnium to be held... apparently the old-olympic omnium wasn't hard enough for the UCI, so they decided to add a 6th event and make all the distances longer. except they split the program into 2 days... but not al nash. we did the whole shabang in one day. it went like this...

flying250- i got a personal best..... [cause it was the first time i've ever done one of these!] it got me 2nd place.
80 lap-points race- i was doing really well...well, until i wasn't doing well any longer. i was a dip shit and missed the break that lapped the field, then pretty much did a 3k pursuit in no man's land. i got 4th here... baller.
elimination- i did another 3k pursuit here, setting pace at the front for about that long. on the 4th place elimination the person questioned if her or i was out (it was her), so i got distracted and then the pace picked up and i didn't have enough muster to come over, so i got 3rd....baller.
pursuit- i guess this was my third pursuit of the day, but this time i got to use aero bars and borrowed a funny hat. my splits were super even, so that was good, but i got 3rd by a half second or so...baller again.
scratch race- my ability to accelerate was waning fast and it would take me 2 laps to catch onto any attack. missed tara whitten lapping, and ended 3rd place again... i won't say it again (but, yeah, baller).
500m- i pulled off a good 500m for me, so that made me glad, but still got me 3rd.

.....bummed i was riding kinda poopy, but so it goes. but on the good news, all these 3rd places landed me 2nd place overall! so that was pretty rad~ it is kinda fun saying you got 2nd to the world champion, but, in reality, we know it was something like this:
the real problem of my racing was that i did not follow my teammate ted burns' advice regarding racing canadians...

1. Throw some donuts down at the start of the race, Canadians can't help themselves.

2. If that doesn't work just grab some beer an do the same thing.

3. They aren't too bright...tell her it's an extra long track, and tell her every thing in Feet or miles...they only know metric.

4. Tell her that the queen just died. That will make her cry

5. Tell her that Neil Young renounced his canadian citizenship years ago.

i knew i sucked. how could i forget such valuable race material on race day?!

anyway, here are some super sweet pictures of me thanks to pat benson. there are even some cool ones of me by the world champion. xmas card material for sure.

me checking out tara whitten's awesome quads

bethbikes! attempting to pursuit

miss 'n out

so that whole extravaganza resulted in approximately a 13 hour day in the chamois! i had found a sweet all-you-can-eat buffet for us to eat at, called hokkaido seafood buffet. yeah, check out that floor plan-- there are sweet pictures and even a you-tube video if you click on the individual parts of the floor plan. dinner was $16.99 and we definitely ate our monies worth. it was awesome. in addition to all-you-can-eat sushi, they also had a chocolate fountain.

apparently gio took a picture of us. i was too busy stuffing my face to notice.

so that was the far west championship. we drove back that night and got into oaktown around 4am. my boyfriend was crazy enough to want to do a criterium the next day. i went to cheer, but instead of cheer, i got distracted and talked to tim montagne. i did see him chit-chatting at the back a few times. when we were leaving we saw the women's race going on, and we heard some chick in the peleton say "is that beth?" as michael was attempting to ride me back to the car on his bicycle. let me say: it is much cooler riding on the back of your boyfriend's bike than doing a race yourself.

well, that is about it for the far west championship. no wait, oh yeah, la la beat the reigning national champion in a match sprint! that was cool to watch. okay, i'm done for real this time-- thanks alfred nash for another fun socal racing experience!

michael ball - he's back baby.

2010-08-03T14:55:00.000-07:00

so i was pretty excited when i saw michael ball's name back on cycling news:

"ball could hold link to armstrong probe"

how cool is that?

the drama around michael ball continues. this time it is linked to his recruitment of tyler hamilton, tyler getting busted again for doping, and tyler's previous affiliation with lance armstrong.

where's my popcorn when i need it?

it is times like these that i really shake my head disparagingly at michael ball.

not only has the guy's team folded...
and his company struggling in the designer jean market...
but now he is also wrapped up in some fraud investigation...

all of these things could have been avoided if he had just followed my advice and made the keirin cut jeans!

if he shifted directions for R&R and started production on keirin cut jeans, all of the above would have been avoided:

...he would have avoided the market fallout for skinny jeans from all these people whose quads grew because their cocaine habits to keep their quads small got too costly in this economy. profits and continued cycling team.

and,

...as a marketer of keirin cut, he never in a million years would have recruited 38cm quads tyler hamilton to his team, thus avoiding this federal investigation all together!

but stupid michael ball.

why was i never taken seriously?

sleep 1 & lean 1-- nutrtion53

2010-08-02T18:17:00.001-07:00

so i know i have a lot to update on this blog.... highlights include:

far west championship: beth bikes! races the world champion...and loses. but i definitely win at the hokkaido all-you-can-eat seafood buffet.
FSA grand prix: jennie reed knows beth bikes! by name, evident by her saying: "good job, beth". also, some pretty awesome quad measuring occurs...
alpenrose velodrome challenge: beth bikes! nieces take to the kiddie kilo and i demonstrate how *not* to do a standing start.
testarosa veldrome challenge: really, am i that far behind???? shit.....

anyway, that is a lot of races to catch up and it all kind of overwhelms me at the moment. good thing i have a rest week, so i should have lots of time and energy to blog.

but, before all that, i want to write a small shout out and thank you to my sponsor nutrition53 for the products that helped me through this three crazy weekends of racing up and down the west coast. (portland to seattle to LA... oy vay!)

nutrition53 has a few products and if you have heard me talk about it, it has probably been about the really awesome recovery drink, lean1. (if you have seen me at some track races, i may have given you a sample packet to try....if i haven't, ask me and i might have one on me.)

i really like this recovery drink, primarily for two reasons: 1) it tastes good, 2) it mixes well. of course, a logical third reason would be: it works, as in it has 20 grams of protein and all that other recovery mumbo jumbo stuff... but really, those two things above are the reason i use it. lots of recovery drinks work... but most of them taste like crap so it is impossible to drink them. this one actually takes super super yummy! and it is really easily mixable, so it is great to transport.

just so you know this isn't a shameless plug....

yummy recovery drink

i started using the lean1 before i got sponsored by them. it was actually a cool coincidence i got sponsored. i was chatting on a ride to my friend about how i really like this recovery drink lean1 and she says: "i work there!" and low-and-behold she got me the hook-up. anyway, if you are looking for a recovery drink, i suggest you try it because, like i said, it tastes really yummy and it mixes well. you can just shake it in a normal water bottle and it all dissolves -- no chunks left at the top and no chunks at the bottom. it tastes super good, and i am not just saying that. if you got a sample from you, you can attest. my favorite flavor is cookies and cream, cause i like chocolate. second favorite is chocolate. and third favorite is the strawberry. the strawberry is really good and mild tasting if chocolate is too much for you. (they also have vanilla raspberry which is nice and mild and vanilla. vanilla is the only flavor i haven't tried, so i can't comment on it, but given the other flavors, i'm guessing it is good if you are a plain jane type of person and like vanilla ice cream best...). anyway if you want to try it-- you can get 40% off my using my code... that comes to $35.00 for a tub that is pretty big and lasts a long time. Here is the coupon-- the discount is taken after you go to the checkout...be sure bethbikes is in the coupon code. if you use that link, it should be there automatically....

sleep sleep sleep!

anyway, enough about lean1. the real reason i wanted to write this post was because of the other product they make called sleep1. like its name, it is a sleeping pill, duh! i have a pretty hard time falling asleep after night time bicycle races.... track racing at night is so much fun, and i get so excited... (...and i take too many caffeinated GUs....), that i have hard time falling asleep. or, when i do fall asleep, i wake up a few hours later and can't fall back asleep.

i tried sleep1 a few times after hellyer races, and found it put me to sleep pretty good. but the past few weekends, it was pretty invaluable... especially when we were racing late and then getting up very early for more racing... sometimes i fall asleep easily, then wake up and can't fall asleep for a few hours, and then feel like crap in the morning. but this sleeping pill helps me stay asleep-- but mostly, it doesn't make me feel groggy in the morning. i had tried using Tylenol PM once, and felt like crap the next morning... so definitely not ideal when you have to race in the morning! sleep1 is good because it doesn't have that morning-after affect on me. Anyway, i am not a dietician, so not really sure what the active ingredients are in there, except a small amount of melatonin-- but i put the backside label on the right so you can see, if you are more scientifically inclined than me. all i know, is it works.

anyway, if you are interested in trying it, again the 40% discount applies again, so that comes to $24, for 60 capsules. (discount comes after you go through the checkout). they say 2 capsules is recommended...but i usually just use 1 unless i am super hyper.

alright, that is all for now. but i just wanted to thank nutrition53 for the products this year! they have really helped me this season and i greatly appreciate the kind support they have extended to me. having the lean1 has definitely helped in my training and my recovery after races. i never used to take a regular recovery drink, but now i am, and think it is helping. well, i am faster and leaner, so maybe some of that is because of that. and sleep1 has helped me get some rest-- especially the past few weekends, when that was really important in multi-day races. thanks so much again for the kind support. please thank them for me by trying out their product!

thanks again nutrition53!

Alpenrose Velodrome Challenge

2010-07-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago were some of my favorite bike races of the year: the Alpenrose Velodrome Challenge and the FSA Grand Prix. Because women's track cycling does not have a huge pool of athletes, women don't have many races with large, competitive women's fields. In addition to the Testarosa Veldrome Challenge, these two races are the big track races of the year, and I was excited to participate.

Part 1: Alpenrose Velodrome Challenge

First off, I need to give a big thank you to Brian Peterson for being the ultimate teammate. He was the best mechanic, coach, cheerer, nutrition consultant, and friend for the weekend. Thanks Brian, we love you!

Day 1: The first day is mostly a warm-up day, as it is just time trials. I did a 3k pursuit and a 500m. The alpenrose track is a bit funky, bumpy, and slow. Despite having the worst start known to man on my pursuit (where I lost a couple of seconds), I was really happy with time and consistent pacing. I ended me fourth, and a few seconds off of third, so I was happy with that. My 500m was nothing great. I definitely need to work on my start.

Day 2: This year, I decided to stop match sprinting because I hate it. That meant I got to rest all morning until the scratch race. I got on Cari Higgins' wheel with a few to go and stayed on it until the end, so I got 2nd place! That was super exciting! My goal was to podium over these weekends, and I was so excited to get on the podium in my first mass start race! I also did the team sprint later in the day with La La (Mary Glen) Carrasco. We did an okay job. The competition was still; 3 teams broke the track record that day! (We weren't one of them...) We probably should have switched positions, but i am ready to try that race again with her at elite states.

Day 3: This was a big day for me. I had keirins, miss 'n out, and points race. Racing keirins are fun! But those are races for the real sprinters, which I am not. (I only pretend). In Round 1, only the first place got to advance to the final, and Monique Sullivan was in my heat. (If you don't know her, she is the Canadian national champ). I was happy I stayed on her wheel to the finish, but that didn't get me to the final. My rep round (to get back into the final), I was riding with some good people, including Nissy Cobb. Nissy is a very fast woman, who will be one of the top sprinters in the US in a couple of years. I was last in line and made a big run over the top when the moto pulled off, and was able to squeeze my way right behind Nissy (who was riding first position). I let her lead out the sprint and was able to push through in the turn four to pass her at the line! I couldn't believe it~ it was the best keirin I had ever done! I was so happy! But no time to celebrate, because I had the miss 'n out up next.

Miss 'n Out: I set pace at the front for at least 10 laps, which is a very tiring place to be. Then I moved to the back and started playing the devil, popping around people in the final turn before the finishing straight. This is also a very tiring place to be, as you have to accelerate quite a bit. But, I luckily made it to the final three, which was Cari Higgins, Val Bolstrom, and me. I attacked a few times, but Cari was on me. We had 2 neutral laps, not three. I ended up leading out the sprint with 1 to go, Cari passed me on the final straight away, and I got 2nd again. I was pretty happy with that!

Next was the keirin final- I was near the back of the group, sitting 6th or 7th wheel on the motor. I knew I wouldn't win, but was hoping to squeek in a top 5 amongst all the real sprinters. My plan was to catch any of the sprinters' wheels as they were making a run. Well, this didn't work so well for me, because the person in front of me couldn't overtake the speed at the front of the back, so I came in near the back of that one. Oh well.

I had very little time between the keirin final and my points race. My points race was my worst race of the weekend. I just wasn't mentally in it. We were racing 50 laps I believe (sprints @10), and I was just zoned out and sitting near the back for the first 2 sprints. I felt great physically, I just wasn't mentally racing. I finally got my head in the game, then got in a few breaks that didn't go anywhere, until I got in the winning breakaway. Well, it was the winning breakaway, had I been scoring points in the first two sprints and had scored more points while in the breakaway. I was trying to pull hard to take the lap quickly, but others weren't needing to take it, as they had racked up a lot of points already and were setting up for the sprints. Anyway, I ended up 5th, which I was really disappointed with, but hey can't get 2nd place everytime!

This put me in 4th overall in the omnium and I won the "best Hellyer rider!" award! I was pretty happy with the weekend and ready to race the weekend. Thanks Alpenrose and Charlie Warner for an awesome race~ I love it there!

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

a huge turn out of women at the racing!

here is with 2 to go in the scratch race. i'm on a good wheel!

scratch podium. i need to learn to podium pose, apparently.

miss 'n out racing

miss 'n out podium

thanks ROCKTAPE for being an awesome sponsor! my right quad had a huge knot in it on friday and started wearing the tape and it helped me 100%

and thanks to our most awesome team president and track president for all his help for the weekend!

Part 2 coming: Next stop: Seattle for the FSA Grand Prix.

thank you mr. adams

2010-06-29T17:31:00.001-07:00

here is a picture i nabbed from someone. it is a picture of a track in italy that is no longer functional (obviously). it is a great reminder that tracks are not just a wood and concrete.... but rather are programs, people, community, and work, and a lot of love.

tracks are the people who love it enough to raise the flag up at every event....
or organize the dingy storage container....
or show up a race they aren't doing just to cheer...
or teach beginner classes, promote races, and run training sessions....
or spend a saturday making a concrete podium....
or spend four hours sweeping the apron...
or make sure all the rental bikes are in working order...
or make a run during a blistering hot sunday to get ice for everyone...
or check all the waivers to make sure they are signed....
or tell people about races on facebook...
or give someone a ride to a race...
or make a new person feel welcome....
or lend someone a wheel or chainring...
or give someone help at a race...

there are dozens and dozens of people that make my home track, hellyer, what it is today. but today i specifically want to thank rick adams for all he does to keep the track program up and running. without promoters, we'd have no races - and rick keeps the hellyer calendar full by having a race every wednesday from april to september so all of us locals can have fun beating up on each other after work mid-week. not to mention, he hosts one of the few big track races in the country so us locals have the opportunity to race against the fastest people across the country (and world) right at our home track. not to mention, rick puts on a number of saturday races...and is treasurer for the board of directors, and i am sure does a million other things.

my first year of racing i don't think i ever saw rick race himself, as he was putting on so many races. my second year, i traveled to the soulless track in LA (i'm not talking about encinco) to do a race, and who did i see but mr. hellyer himself, rick adams. *every single time* he stepped off the track he exclaimed: "isn't bike racing fun!!" with his eyes twinkling. i mean, *every single time.*

that is how we all feel on wednesday night track races, when we slog back to our car, completely exhausted. "isn't bike racing fun!!" ...not quite sure how we are going to fall asleep and then get back up early for work after all those crazy tempo, snowballs, chariots, points races with sprints every 3 laps, and whatever else rick has up his sleeve.

so, thank you, rick for keeping our track going. thank you for all that you give. and thank you for setting an example for us to follow. you certainly aren't the only one, but without you things certainly wouldn't be how they are. thanks again.

caption: athleticism

2010-06-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

friday night i raced the track with the p/1/2 men. a "P" actually did show up. and that would be ben j-m. he thought it nice to heckle me why i am riding my nice wheels.... uh, cause you are here? pschaw.

anyway, it was pretty hard. i can't remember how long the first scratch race was. all i do recall, is looking at the lap card and seeing "26" and thinking: oh shit! but i hung in the whole race, unlike john simmons, who dropped out, which means i beat him. me and simmons have a battle of sprinting for like 15th place..so i always like to keep track of where he is. anyway-- it settled down with about 12 to go and i moved up a bit with 2 to go and then the pace slowed a tiny bit coming out of turn three, so i figured i was going to hit it and lead out the sprint. that was pretty fun, and it even landed me 8th place. i could have sworn to god someone took a lap in that race, but i guess not. i guess i was a bit blistery eyed and not all that aware.

the points race was not as bad for me. that is probably because i was in the pack and didn't take a lap like all the cool kids. anyway, i didn't score a point, and simmons did pass me in the final sprint. the miss n out was a big disappointment. i made a bad move. like i always say in the miss n out... i'm doing good, until i'm not doing good. but super fun friday night again! but, shit, riding with the men is exhausting.

well, anyway, the next day i super tired, and for that reason we decided to be over ambitious on our bike ride... going on some crazy stupid long hilly 4.5 or 5 hour ride or something like that. we went up morgan territory, then through the winds of livermore. michael took this opportunity to turn the screws and make me cry. then we hit some shitty section of suberbia going through dublin and i really lost the will to live. we had about 2 hours home, up some more hills and into more headwind. so we stopped at the chevron station to pick up some junk food. $10 can buy you a lot of calories.

apart from the amazingness of this consumption, was the visual image. bikes, spandex clad, strewn out on the gas station sidewalk binging on junk food. the visual image for anyone buying gas must have been remarkable. i wish we had a camera, because i would love to have a picture with the caption: athleticism right under it. for those of you who are health conscious, let's review:

michael:
donnettes: 430 calories; 18 grams of fat
half twix bar: 142 calories; 7 grams of fat
starbucks 13oz drink: 290 calories; 4.5 grams of fat
total: 862 calories; 29.5 grams of fat

beth:
frittos: 480 calories; 30 grams of fat
half twix bar: 142 calories; 7 grams of fat
starbucks 13oz drink: 290 calories; 4.5 grams of fat
total: 912 calories; 41.5 grams of fat

next day, sunday, was beat the clock time trial. fun event, for sure. it was a blast riding my road bike on the track during the warmup! it was a hot day and some fast times. i was happy to get a best time in the 200m, with a 12.8. this was cool for me because i had never broken 13 seconds. it just goes to show you: stop sprint training and you get faster. after i got my time, i made sure to text message annabell, carlos, and stephanie something along the lines of "12.8 sprinter bitches". to which the replies included:

not bad for a ROADIE
yeah, but how are the sprint rounds going?! (well, i didn't have sprint rounds, cause it was a TT day, but had it been a tourny, that would have been on point)... and my favorite--
about time you broke 13! btw, i'm 46 yrs old. (yeah, point taken, AB)

next was the 500m, which went shitty. it was perhaps my worst start since 2008. i feel like i say that a lot, but this time it really was. then my legs felt loaded the whole time and i never got on my pedals. i think this was a good lesson to cool down and warmup more between sprint efforts. next was the 2k, which i went out to slow on. last was the 3k, which i went much faster on, and had a big personal best again... so it was good to start and end the day with good news.

but, kuddos to the day goes to lala! man, that girl is getting faaaast-- she got a 12.7 in the 200 and then 39.5 or something like that in the 500m. really impressive-- so much fun watching her! i am excited to see her times go down and speed go up for the rest of the year. this also means that any mass start race i am in with her is going to be super hard so she gets dropped early. ;)

Testarosa Velodrome Challenge

2010-06-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

The Testarosa Velodrome Challenge (formerly the American Velodrome Challenges) is one of the highlights of my season. It is one of the biggest track races in the country and draws on talent from across the country and even across the world.

Being a woman track racer, we don't get many opportunities to race in large competitive fields with other women, apart from nationals and a couple of other large track races in the Northwest over the summer. Add that to the fact that this one is at my home track -- and that it was one of my first races ever (where I got to match sprint Jennie Reed 3 years ago!)-- I was hoping to do well.

My first race was the keirin. The sprinters especially came out ready to play: Dana Feiss, Jen Featheringill, Tela Crane...not to mention the 2009 Australia Scratch Race champion, Laura Mchaughey, US Scratch race champion Shelley Evans and a number of other enduros who can sprint faster than the sprinters. My first heat, I was racing with Jen Tripplett and Shelby Reynolds. And what is there to say other than I got 3rd, and top two advance. That was a bit of a bummer, but the good thing about keirin racing, is you can race your way back into the final through the "repecharge". The girls in my rep heat were overly aggressive in the moto windup-- swinging out of the sprinters lane and bumping. The dudes got DQed for this, but not the chicks. I just made my way to the back, because it wasn't worth sitting in the wind for that. This meant I was just going to have to leave them in the dust. When the moto pulled off, I made a big run over the top, got a huge gap and soloed in for the next 1.5 laps. So, I was back in the finals. It was Featheringill, Feiss, Mchaughey, Evans, Tripplett, Reynolds, Crane, and me. I drew the pole, which mean I would be obligated to the moto, but my teammate Brian gave me a sissy throw ;) - so I ended up way back. This wasn't good for me, as I have difficulty knowing how to ride from the back in the keirins, but I made my move to early, and then got stuck wide in the wind and couldn't come over, so ended in 7th.

Next race was the points race. I ended up 5th in this race. Okay placing, but I was a bit bummed with how the race played out. It was 40 laps, with sprints only every 10 laps. Such few sprints really changes the race. Hanan from PB&Co got off the front and the pack was hard to motivate chasing it down. I went really hard for the 2nd sprint, and that is right when Jen Reither from VK bridged up. They ended up lapping. In the last sprint, I got to sprint side by side with Shelley Evans to get 2nd in the final sprint. That was pretty cool! Had I won that last sprint, I would have gotten 3rd overall, but you can't be upset getting 2nd to one of the fastest women in the world. Anyway, as I said, the race wasn't really as fast as I would have liked, so, I came back for day 2 really ready to tear it apart.

Saturday was the Miss n Out and Scratch race. The Miss 'n Out is my favorite race. I think it has it all... it requires good fitness, positioning, saavyness, sprinting ability, and plus it is exciting for the crowd. And when you are a whore for racing in front of crowds, it makes it all the best. There were a lot of girls in the race, so I wanted to make sure to stay out of trouble so I didn't get out. I set pace at the front for most of the race. This is hard, because it really tires you out, but better that than getting accidently eliminated. I was pretty confident in my fitness, so I stayed up at the front. When we got down to just a handful of riders Tripplett started drilling it in the pole lane, and we were lined up single file behind her. This was great for me, because I could draft, and I knew no one was going to be able to come over 3 people. The last three were me, Mchaughey, and Tripplett. Coming into bell lap, I attacked. Hey, team name is "Bell Lap!" Laura ended up coming around me, but I got 2nd!! That was super exciting! Also what is funny is the Women's Beginner Track clinic I put on funded the prize money for the race-- and then I got 2nd. So thanks to everyone who came out to the clinic!

Last race was the scratch race. I was in much better spirits after the miss n out. My goal for the scratch race was to make it as fast as possible to drop lots of people. This was accomplished. Attacks and counterattacks went off left and right. I can't remember many specifics, but that was probably because I was going apeshit in the race. I felt great and could recover so fast and just keep attacking. I had the fitness to be in every single move off the front and also had the positioning and pack awareness to see all the attacks as they were going. This was a really exciting for me. There was only one move I missed-- and that was because we were lapping some riders as an attack was going off, and then I had to bridge up. Anyway, with 4 to go Ruth Winder attacks off the front, and I go with her. It was a great move, but unfortunately Mary Ellen Ash started chasing up immediately.... right with Laura Mchaughey on her wheel. It was a bit of a bummer, but Ruth and I exchanged pulls, but I knew we'd be caught and we were at 1.5-2 to go. I stayed near the front and led out out the sprint again at bell lap. Wasn't probably the best idea because this time both Laura and Jen came over me, but I held on easily for 3rd place.

Well, that was my long TVC report. Overall, I was really happy with my racing (especially day 2!). It was a real breakthrough race for me. I knew I had made a huge step this year with all my improved fitness from road racing, but at this race I got to see that play out racing against some of the best track riders in the country. I am excited to get some more speed and power work in this summer and ready to contest some more track races come summer and for nationals.

Here are some awesome pictures from the most wonderful Garrett Lau! Thanks!

me & laura mchaughey in a sprint in the points race

miss 'n out
miss 'n out podium

bell lap on scratch race.... just cause the team name is bell lap, doesn't mean i always have to lead it out....

scratch race podium

match sprint? pschaw.

2010-06-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

response to mr. miller

background
for those not privy to following the norcal cycling blog shittalking scene (mom, sorry i said shit.). let me review.

rand miller expresses questionable interest in racing on the track on facebook.
me, being the nice person i am, asks my boyfriend to write a nice blog post and use his pull to try to find the poor guy a bike. i also told my boyfriend that he could likely guilt rand into trying the track, by being done under the guise of telling rand that he himself will do a track race again. [this was, perhaps, a backhanded suggestion on my part to get hernando racing again. i am sick of beating him in city-limit sprints and celebrating with no one around to see it. i would much rather embarrass my boyfriend in public.]
instead of writing a most excellent blog post like i told him to (i even outlined the bloody thing for him), he instead write a blog post in which he projects his man crush on me. i'm okay with that, but i just want to make it public record that it is hernando sifting through cycling race photos of rand's mullet [RIP] at 1am, creepily smirking at his Toshiba.
then, mr. miller responds and challenges me to a match sprint. [let me finish my chronology, then i have a few words.] but, in short: it's on.
Hellyer, anonymous blogger on norcalcycling, proposes we match sprint at 5pm on saturday, right before warmup at the testarosa vineyards velodrome challenge. let me just say, Hellyer, if you can arrange it... i'll dust that skinny quaded boy.

but, i just want to go on the record as saying: I HATE MATCH SPRINTING!

IT SUCKS! IT SUCKS! IT SUCKS!

i tried to like it. i really did. but last year, after losing every single fucking match sprint i did. (sorry mom), i finally decided i was done with trying to be a sprinter. yes, i said i lost *every* match sprint i did at the AVC at hellyer last year. every one at the alpenrose velodrome challenge. and, yes, every one at FSA as well. and after that, i said no more. i'm done.

and now i am challenged. by rand miller. (who is probably going to be a douche and go all kilo on me.) to a match sprint. the race i hate. i really wish it was some race i liked doing, like a miss 'n out; however, i realize that the head-to-head of a match sprint is much more dramatic. so, i will concede. (but just this once.)

to pump myself up for doing my most detested track race, i watched some you tubes match sprints this week in order to channel some bad ass tactics.

if i had any sort of match sprinting skills, i would go all vickyP on him.

what exactly is going all vickyP?

no, i am not talking about posing nude on my track bike. i'm talking about her most intimidating match sprint tactics that make me just watching it on universal sports, shudder and want to curl up in the fetal position and be held.

this is my favorite:
http://www.universalsports.com/video/assetid=5b6609eb-4fd3-40fc-a25d-8e8795325008.html fast forward to 1:45:55. see how she looks straight back for two laps straight. around the turns, on the 45 degree banking. all while scowling. [shudder] that poor russian probably shat her pants.

anyway.

well, i won't do that, cause i can't look behind me like that and not hit the fence. but, it doesn't matter. i can scowl really good. evidence by any photo ever taken of me while bike riding.

so-- go ahead rand, go borrow a fancy pantsy BT bike with disc wheel and moster gear. me and my 36 spokes will leave you somewhere in turn 2.

see you on saturday, bitch.

(sorry, mom, that was for intimidation effect)

humiliation in chronological order

2010-06-07T17:41:00.000-07:00

i need to respond to rand miller, but first i want to talk about myself. my response will come tomorrow.

well, despite a string of road races earlier this spring that led me to believe "yes, i can do this road racing thing!", the month of may told me loud and clear: "go back to the track, bitch!!"

so there you have it... track it is. you heard it first on beth bikes! "i will not do another road race in 2010. i will not do another road race in 2010."

so, how did my utter confidence shattering occur?

let's back up. it all started the week of the sacramento grand prix. as you know, i was very excited about the race. it was a big week for me. i got to ride with pros. and my bell lap team kit finally arrived! i was ready for the big times--- [and by big times, i mean matching jersey and bibs....]

or, so i thought.

fail #1: scotts valley grand prix

the highlight of my race occured in the second number one of the race. i lined up at the back of the pack. i was right behind tibco's megan guarnier. the whistle blew. i clipped in immediately. megan fumbled and missed her pedal. i said: "rookie". she guffawed so loud i could still hear it at turn 1. eat it, megan.

yep, that was the highlight of my race.

i think i tail gunned the entire thing. this wasn't on purpose. i tried moving up. *i did!* but then i ended at the last place again and again. it was apparent i sucked, so i made some bargains with myself to try and give myself little confidence gains: "beth, just try to be second to last around that turn next lap..." then, sure as shit, i was last again. anyway, it was pretty much pathetic how i was mentally incapable of racing my bike that day. i was so disappointed in myself, i thought the only fair thing to do was be sure i was very last across the finish line. it seemed an appropriate day to dfl, given how much i sucked.

the only up of the race was i got some good pictures of me in my new team kit.

unfortunately, i couldn't write a race report for the team blog. a post titled: "well, at least i looked good" with a few pictures apparently wasn't good enough for a race report.... (don't ask my why... that is really the only reason a chick is on a masters men team anyway).

[thanks rob evans & paul duran for my picture poaching. not that i asked you or anything...]

the is the team kit in full body form.

apparently i am happy at the start line. this is funny, because about 7 seconds later, i went from happy to extremely frustrated.

if you want to know what tail gunning in action looks like, this is it. yes, the dopey face is done even while tail gunning.

fail #2: sacramento grand prix

well, i can't actually call this a fail. my goal for the race was not to be tail gunning. i succeeded in that. i was perhaps near the back a lot, but not on the back very much at all. and sometimes i was even in the middle of the pack. and on one rare occasion, i was even in front of the pack!

that was when i went for a prime... but got second.

in a one-place prime.

so, there you have it, fail. but again, i got some sweet pictures of the race. my goal was to race near some pros and get a photo of it, so i am happy to say i got some pictures of that.

dopey face #7,841. looking good, as always.

not last. see, that girl in red is clearly the last one around that turn. or, actually, there is someone even behind her. score! i'm so far up!

here is me, not winning a prime. it looks like i am winning doesn't it? well, that is because you can't see the girl in front of me. (that would be the girl from lithuania) despite losing, they should have given me the $100 because i am from america. she can win primes at the vilnius grand prix.

so this is proof that there are famous people around me. sure, at first glance, it might look like a lot of local riders... but i will specifically point out jessica philips at the front of the picture, the time trial national champion. so there you have it, my goal for the week: complete! got my picture taken behind someone famous! thanks garrett lau for the pix!

thanks so much to the wells fargo team for letting me race with you that weekend. it was a really cool experience! thanks to cody for letting me wear her kit, and susannah for letting me feel all cool and wear her helmet and shades so i matched and felt totally official. also, sorry emily & cody- i forgot to give you candy before the race. it was in my pocket ready to distribute, but i forgot, as i was distracted by the "i chose sram" commercial on the big screen, and failed to hand out the peach rings... then after the race, they were kinda sweaty and gross, so i opted not to hand them out. next time, i owe you.

okay, so fail 2 wasn't so bad. i rode mid pack, lost a prime, and got a picture of myself behind someone famous. but, this blog post is about failing, so try to think of the negative as much as possible. 34 people finished ahead of me. how is that for glass half empty?

fail #3: mt hamilton road race

what was i thinking??? good question. i don't know!

it went like this. it was blazing bitches fast from the gun up the mountain. never did i think i would see a pack strung out single file going up mount hamilton, but sure as shit, it was. i made it to the first downhill section of the climb (there are 3 uphill sections) with the pack. the girl who was drilling it suddenly was near me, so i rode sketchy for 30 seconds to prevent her from going back to the front and setting an unreasonable pace. i pretended like i was playing high school gym class basketball, dodging left and right. then she rode on the gravel to get around me, and sure as shit, there we go again! i made it half way up that second climb, til i popped off the back.

this was pretty demoralizing, because we were probably 13 miles into a 60+ mile race. after a minute, i saw a group of 4 ahead of me that was also off the back. i tried to catch them, but i am fat track rider, so that didn't happen.

then some chick caught me near the top, but she went down hill so fast, i was again alone. here is a picture of me going down the hill like an old grandma. it kind of looks like i am constipated. apparently the girl who dropped me like it was job on the decent wasn't even drilling it, as she could wave to the camera...

i just point that out to show how lame i am.

then i rode alone for a *very long time*. then some girls passed me and said hi, as they were riding in men's pack. then i rode more alone and started feeling like a big loser. then i started cursing my boyfriend for going to the finish line and not the feedzone, cause i wanted to quit, and now i had no choice but to finish. then i started to feel more and more sorry myself. then i started crying. for a second, i had a vision of tom hanks in that 'league of their own' movie-- his stupid speech about no "crying in baseball". then i had a vision of me punching tom hanks in the face and proceeding to my sob fest. then a pack of 6 girls caught me right as i was snotting on myself, so i latched onto them and was thankful i had sunglasses on, so they didn't see me all red-eyed being a pathetic, self-loathing dropped rider.

wow, that is lame.

anyway, the race continued. there was this obnoxious group of guys we kept bunny hopping with. i grew to hate them. as they'd sit up everytime we passed them. going into the finish, we even tried to giventhem lots of space between us, but, then with 2k to go they sat up so much, that we caught them again. wow, they sucked. (especially the dude below.) with 1k to go, i just started leading it out, cause i was pissed off at these men.

here is me scouling at the biggest dipshit of this group. he was the one who kept leading the guys passing us, then sitting up approximate 1 second later. i am so happy my sentiment here was caught on film. lauren hecht then blew by me and all the guys, and i was never so happy to be passed by someone. i wish there was a picture of that too.

so, yeah, that race made me feel like a pretty big loser.

fail #4- memorial day criterium

so much so... that i decided to not even show up at memorial day criterium. yep. awesome, huh?

that is the attitude of a real athlete- quitting!

fail #5- butterfly criterium

i got up at 5am.... for a 3pm start. micahel was announcing, so we got there early. had a nice ride in pacific grove. i chatted with some cat5 guy on my little morning spin as he was cooling down from his race. it was pretty classic.

"that was my first race. it was really hard. i am not used to taking turns like that. i mean, there were some cat 2 and cat 3 guys who were riding in my field."

i guess ben stern downgraded from a cat2 to a cat5 for the butterfly race!

[as you can see, i still feel entitled to talk shit........despite sucking.]

xoxo.

anyway, back to me sucking....

i think i got dropped in the first lap.

yep.

first lap.

honestly, i wasn't worried about getting myself gapped off, i figured i would just close it. then we went around another turn and it got bigger. then another turn, and i was definitely off the back. then i chased, thinking i could catch back on. then i gave up.

i think i did 3 laps, then the boyfriend who was announcing gave me the axe sign.

i was in awe. i got dropped. from a criterium. in the first lap.

uhhhhh????????

so i did what any respectable person would do.

i went to my car, covered my face with a sweatshit, and cried like a baby for the next 2 hours.

i won't try to play-off like i took my utter failure well. i didn't. i took it like a 3rd grader.

unfortunately, i still got some pictures of myself. how in only 3 laps your presence gets documented to the world, i don't know. i was hoping to just hide and pretend that this never happened, but no, those photos demonstrate my presence at the butterfly criterium

thanks steven woo for documenting my humiliation.

this must be lap2. when i actually thought i could catch back on. i poached this "unregistered" from KSBW for publicizing my dropped face in your newspaper without my permission.

and here is my laughing... that i am so dropped...in the first 5 minutes of race. laughing from utter disbelief, not actual pleasure.

it's a super big bummer i sucked so bad for this race, because the fields were small, the prize money was $1,000. and i need to buy a washer/dryer.

why can't my life just work out?

well, if you'd like to a snapshot of my life in the last month according to usacycling, you can see how much i stink:

well, i thought writing about my shortcomings would be therapeutic. but actually, this post got me kinda depressed. i am going to go eat some chocolate. oh wait, there is no chocolate at home. so, i think i will do the next best thing and gnaw on my fingernails...

in an attempt to make myself feel better, let me give myself a little pep talk. "beth it hasn't been all bad this past month! [fake smile] track has been going pretty good. [fake smile] road racing is lame. [real smile] no more road racing in 2010. [real smile] no more road racing in 2010. [real big smile]"

okay, i feel better now. perhaps another day this week, i will write about the fun track races.... but not know. i am tired of blogging. this post is much too long already.

and there we have it. road racing: it was fun for a little while. but in the end, track racing is just better.

emperically.

weekend of team kits...from trash to class.

2010-05-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

so this is a very special weekend for me.... not just because i get to race against all sorts of famous people, but because i get to wear my very own team kit! check me out--

saturday, scotts valley grand prix

very much anticipated, team bell lap's kits are in! designed my mattBB himself, they are pretty rad.

and tight.

and see through.

and our sweet flying bell logo sits on me like a push up bra.

i kinda look like a hoe.

don't tease me. i'm already self conscious about it.

sunday, sacramento grand prix

i'm sportin' cody's chamois in the super classy wells fargo kits. i say they are classy because they have gold lines on them, so that means class.

anyway, can't wait to get some pictures this weekend!

...and do the races.

(that was hopefully a given)

this post is special for garrett

2010-05-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

in my comments, garrett said that the bag sizes in the picture all looked the same. that was true. i found that picture on the internet, so it shouldn't be trusted.

took some of my own pictures of some bike to work day bags. for some reason i tossed out 2005...and my 2010 bag is at work & it is even larger. so here we go:

2006: far left. my preferred size.

so if you put them side by side in this picture, they don't look terribly larger, but they are. i think the difference is really that the bag on the left has no depth to it, and the one on the right does.

anyway, nobody really cares about this, except garrett and me. that is why this post title is "this post is special for garrett." so apologies to those of you who were bored by this bag analysis. i'll write some real blog posts after the weekend.

bike to work day-- musettes and maps

2010-05-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

in the bay area there is this day every year called "bike to work day"-- cities and organizations all work together to have a day to promoting bicycling as a form of transportation and health. part of bike to work day is visiting an "energizer station" on your way to work, where you can get some goodies, sign petitions relating to bicycle advocacy, and pick up a really cool bag with goodies in it. there are lots of other bicycling related activities that center around this day. all in all, it is an excellent program that has been going on for 17 years and keeps getting bigger each year.

i like bike to work day cause you can get some pastries and a fun grab bag just for riding your bike! i wish every day included free pastries and grab bags.

that is, for people who get up early. or, on time.

i was kind of procrastinating this morning, so by the time i got to the closest "energizer" station, all i just got a pastry and coffee, no bag.

this made me sad, but it was my own fault.

i had a master plan for bike to work day. i was going to get up EARLY so i could hit 5 (yeah, 5) stations on my way to work. that was, 5 stations on my *normal* route. that would have meant 5 pastries. and, if i went a few blocks out of my way, i probably could have hit 9 stations total. but 9 pastries is too much, so i figured the 5 would do.

but then i procrastinated this morning.

so 5 pastries was really 1.

after hitting the first station, i went to BART... cause i was too late to bike all the way in...and i saw another energizer station, so i stopped by cause i saw he had one bag left! so i got the last bag- yay! (but he had no pastries)

when he gave me the bag, it was a BIG canvass grocery bag. i asked him why they don't give out the small musette bags any longer, and i got all nostalgic about them. and he said to me: "you mean the one's real bike racers use." and i thought: i don't use a musette bag bike racing, so i must not be a real bike racer. oh well. regardless, he didn't know why they switched to the big canvas bags.

so now comes the point of my post that hopefully some higher ups will read.......

BETH BIKES! PLEA: BRING BACK THE MUSETTE BAGS!!

so three years ago the bike to work bags were awesome! they were small musette bags. now, i realize people probably think: what the hell are commuters carrying around musette bags for-- they aren't giving any feeds or anything...

but on the contrary, the musette bag is perfect for the commuter that doesn't want to carry around a big backpack or messenger bag, and just want something tiny that can fit the lock. musette bags are perfect size for a u-lock. they sit nicely on your backside and don't get all tangled with your handle bars, unlike big canvas bags.

the last musette bag i got was 2006-- the orange/red one in the middle. that one in 2007, i was given a full size canvas bag. as i was in 2008, 2009, and [sigh] in 2010. now, i'm not knockin' free canvas bags. i love my BTWD bags- it is such a fun day! but big canvas bags are great for when you drive to the grocery store to get groceries. but they are not a very handy thing to bike with. so, BTWD folks-- please bring back the musette bag! mine is really, really nasty. i wash it, but it is just permanently stained and i am fearful my boyfriend is going to throw it away when i am not paying attention one day cause he thinks it is so gross. anyway, love the bags, but i love the small ones the best!

included in the bag was a new oakland bike map. i was a bit confused, as there are lots of oakland bike maps... but i did a bit of research and learned some things, so i will share what i learned and my thoughts on it.

[begin public service announcement]

the bike map included in the bag was one from www.oaklandbikes.info. this is public works department from the city of oakland. i was glad to heard the city of oakland has put out a bike map (west and east).

in my opinion, it is good that the city is taking responsibility for publishing bike maps and not relying solely on non-profit organizations in the city & county. this is good for overall city-planning and inclusion of bicycling in city planning.

other organizations that have created some excellent bike maps in the city:

walk oakland bike oakland -- they make (in my opinion) the best bike map of oakland. it has detailed information on the grade of every single street. it is an excellent city map, not just for biking or walking, but just navigating the city in general. you can get one in print by joining WOBO here. they are a pretty cool new organization, that has done a lot in the city regarding increasing bike lanes. there new project is getting a bike line all the way down broadway blvd. the WOBO map was funded by the State of California Office of Traffic Safety, total costs came to $48,000 including staff time, street grade surveys, map design, and map printing. The project took 6 months from concept to printing.
the east bay bicycle coalition maps are the old standard for bicycle maps. they have two maps: east of the hills (not available online) & west of hills.

east of the hills covers covers central and eastern Contra Costa County, including Concord, Walnut Creek, Pittsburg, Antioch; plus eastern Alameda County's Tri-Valley (Livermore, Dublin, and Pleasanton areas).
west of the hills covers western Alameda and Contra Costa counties, including the Richmond, Berkeley, Oakland, Hayward, and Fremont areas.

These maps are huge in scope and great because they aren't city specific and can really provide cyclists who are going on very long rides ideas for routes. They also include trails in the east bay regional parks.

But they are not cheap to make. Apparently in the last revision of the West of the Bay map, the EBBC spent $59,000 to update it. This is a huge chunk of change for a primarily advocacy organization to spending on making a map service for residents...which is why I was very glad to see the City of Oakland take on that responsibility, with a smaller map that was created city-wide. Would be great for the counties to contract with EBBC to do the map project, as this is a citizen's resource.

But, what the hell am I hoping for in these budget pressed times of county governance?

Anyway, if you don't live in the east bay here, here is a list of lots of maps in the bay area on http://bicycling.511.org/maps.htm thanks 511.

[end public service announcement]

what can i say? I LOVE MAPS!

alright, well, happy bike to work day! hope you all had a grand time biking home!

tour of california prep

2010-05-12T05:58:00.000-07:00

the tour of california is coming up-- so you know what the means?

me harassing michael ball and rock racing?!

no. that was so 2009. that company is bankrupt, so it looks like they aren't going to making my keirin cut jeans. i tried to tell them it was a great business opportunity and that quad growth is eminent in hard economic times, as skinny girl cocaine is more expensive, but they didn't listen to me.

but, yes, 2009 ToC was very dear to my heart. i put in a really good effort to lobby michael ball to make my jeans. unfortunately, it did not work. if you'd like to get all nostalgic about when my blog was good, see below. it was a great campaign. unsuccessful, but great nonetheless:

total bummer that never worked out. but i guess it doesn't matter so much anymore..... i am a total roadie now and my quads are smaller and i am not accepted in the cool fringe track rider circle anymore....... i know that cause every time i go down there all those trackies do is tell me i am skinny or call me roadie......this hurts my feelings, so i just call them fat and attack. (want to join our happy family?-- go to www.ridethetrack.com to start racing at hellyer park velodrome!)

anyway, 2010 ToC is very different than 2009 and 2008. you know why!?! cause i get to ride the sacramento grand prix with the wells fargo team! i am so excited!

the past two years, i have gone to santa rosa to watch the women's criterium, as part of the tour of california. i watched from the sidelines as a lowly cat 4 and admiring how cool the pro 1/2 women look in there matching kits and going so fast. it was so exciting!

when i started doing more road racing this year, i thought to myself: next year (in 2011) it'd be really cool to do that tour of california criterium.... never did i think i would do it this year! i am so excited to be racing with emily kachorek and cody graf for the race. i never thought i'd race this kind of race this year, so i am a bit star struck about the whole thing. eeek!

so, that's right-- i get to look all pro for the race and wear matching jersey and shorts! can you believe it? i can't! it is just so official! matching! i'm so excited!

now, i thought about my race goals a lot....and i decided i am going to take the junior's taylor's suggestion, that she told me at the apple pie criterium. that is: get on someone's wheel who is destined to get a photograph taken of her. in this case, that means get behind one of the famous pro riders. that would be a sweet picture. a pro rider, and me in a matching kit right behind her. what would be even cooler is if that picture got on cycling news. so long as i don't have a dopey looking face in it.

anyway, i am super excited to race the sacto grand prix and thanks a MILLION to the awesome wells fargo team for letting me tag along. i hope i don't suck!

life in review: volume 5--april showers

2010-05-11T17:50:00.000-07:00

yes, as suspected, i am still behind. thus, this is going to be a flury-wrap up of the entire month.

week 1: copperopolis.

actually, i already wrote about this. ha! one down!

week 2: 4 criteriums, 2 days-- whee!

okay, so it went like this....

saturday-- apple pie criterium.
the pie i won was kind of un-noteworthy. probably because i only ate one piece of it, and my roommates ate the rest. grrr. but, what i will forever remember this day for was my excellent luck with water bottles.

yes, that's right. water bottles.

in the morning, while leaving for the race, i filled up 7 water bottles for me and michael for the day... i had two races, he had one...i figured that would cover it. upon arriving to the race, i realized i had left them on the kitchen table. typical.

but the cycling community is really wonderful. 3 acts of generosity saved me.

anthony eng pretty much is clutch, and gave me a bottle right off the bat when i got there.
then there was this company called Skweet handing out their product, a water bottle cleaner. the guy was really nice and gave me a couple of bottles! (he really ate up my sad story of leaving my bottles at home.) i initially was drawn to them not only because i needed a bottle, but also because the monkey was cute and i like orange. little did i know how cool the product was! i found that out days later.

so, i occasionally might have a problem with forgetting to wash out my bottles.... ya know, leaving leftover lean1 in them for a couple of days. lean1 is yummy when you drink it, but it is not so appetizing when you leave the residue on the bottom of your water bottle for 3 days....or a week....and little chunks of chocolate turn black colored..... not that i do that or anything.... anyway, mixing crap in my water bottles at times leave the risk of water tasting a bit...uh, funky? i was interested to try out this skweet stuff, as it claimed to clean that residue out. so, i mixed the powder in, it made it all fizzy noise (which at least gave the impression that it was doing something) and then i let is sit over night. the next day the couple of my "problem bottles" were usable again. this made me happy and feel less bad about my (occasionally) bad cleaning habits.

anyway, thanks skweet for the water bottles and the free sample powders. i appreciated your help at the race, so i hope someone buys some of your product who reads this, cause it is A+ and it works!

3. last, and perhaps most exciting-- janelle kellman was parked next to me in the parking lot, and on the way out she gave me a ROCK RACING WATER BOTTLE!!! it was definitely the best thing i won that day! it is now my favorite and most coveted water bottle. so, hands off, bitches.

alright- the racing....all in all, i was pretty happy with my day racing in the corporate park.

race 1 --3/4 race. there were a lot of us, so i stayed at the front and kept it fast for a lot of the race. i wasn't planning on winning a bunch of primes, but i just kept on being near the front and no one was really going for them, so i figured i'd get them. i like free stuff! i think i won 3 out of 5 primes. the bad part was the 2 i didn't win, were the really cool things, like bars. so be it. (i have lots of individual packets of muscle cream if you want any). as for the finish, i ended up leading out the sprint from turn 3/chicane things. it was about to balloon and slow down, so i figured i'd just jump 600m early to keep it strung out. i figured i'd was giving someone a sweet leadout who was on my wheel, but she didn't come off it, so i won! yay! pie!

there were lots of people taking pictures, so i have even more cool pictures of me with my dopey race face. apparently it never changes, whether the pace is slow or fast, if i am sprinting or sitting in. what can i say, i am consistently dopey looking.

leading, looking dopey

sitting in, dopey

doing something, dopey

sprinting, also dopey.

after the race, i cooled down with this cool junior, taylor, from the track. she told me: "beth i kept trying to be on your wheel during the race." and i said: "good taylor, i was probably a good person to be on." and then she said: "yeah, cause i knew michael would get a picture of you, and i wanted to get in a picture." i thought that was pretty much the best race strategy ever. and, in fact, i am using it for my race strategy for the upcoming weekend of the tour of california race.

race 2 --1/2/3 race. this was a pretty fast and fun race! i actually did a mediocre-to-not-bad job at staying at the front. it is much harder to do this in the 1/2/3 races, than the 3/4 race. unfortunately, i pretty much sucked the last 2 laps, as i realized you can't exactly move from the back to the front, so i placed poorly and didn't sprint. that was a bummer, cause sprinting is the fun, but all in all a good day. (especially given that rock racing water bottle score after that race!)
sunday- menlo park grand prix
the velo girls always put on a fun race, and my boyfriend was on the microphone, so i figured this was the perfect time to steal his white skinsuit and wear it for the race. my kits still hadn't come in, so, i thought i'd style it up a bit.

it was cold, but i couldn't wear black knee warmers with a white skinsuit, so i just sucked it up.

i learned one important thing after the race about wearing a white skinsuit. that is, my boyfriend looks better in it.

fact--

i even chose a grainy picture, because the blurry picture makes me look better.... but, 'nuf said.

alright, let's talk about the race.

first race- cat3. i was pretty non-motivated for the first race. honestly, i had one goal for the race: win the GU prime. last year, the velo girls had sweet primes, one of them being A WHOLE BOX OF GU! i really wanted this prime, again, so i was going to win it. i didn't care about anything else. i listened attentively at the beginning and it was going to be prime #5. this is where things got a bit messed up. cause the first prime was a single prime. the second prime was a 2 place prime. and the third prime, was a 2 place prime. than meant i needed to get 2nd in the prime to get my GU. this was much more complicated, but i figured it was like a reverse win 'n out, and i am a track rider, so it should be fine. i went early, leading out at a good clip, so someone would pass me at the line and i would get 2nd. my plan was working perfectly, emily mattheu from 3rd pillar came around very strong just before the line, and i was so stoked until i realized to late someone else was also coming around me too and took that GU! i could't believe i buffed up my master plan for the GU. it was a total fail. anyway, that crappiness just got crappier for the finish. i didn't move up on the last lap and missed the jump on the sprint, coming out the corner last and the emily was way up the road. super long and fast sprint- props. i got 2nd still, which sucks, but not as much as not winning the GU. that was really the big loss of the race.

race 2-- 1/2/3 race. somewhere between the 3s finish and the 1/2/3 start it started pouring. yes, i did realize i had on the white skinsuit. but i had already committed at that point. go for broke. or go for the gold. or whatever that phrase is.... anyway, i had never raced in the rain, so i was a bit nervous....

the race started and in the 2nd turn of the race, someone slid out next to me. the people in front of me (about 15 or so) were hauling, and then there were lots of people stuck behind the crash. it was a crappy way to start the race, but i chased to get on the front of the pack. it seemed right when i got there, there was an attack, and off goes the group of 5 who won the race. our chase group was about 10 or so, and it was pretty fast and it was nerve racking riding fast like that in the rain.

this is me in the rain in the white skinsuit next to someone famous!

it was a bummer our group didn't work more smoothly together, because the rest of the pack caught us with a couple of laps to go. i say it was a bummer, mostly, because i was a bit sissy as it was, and felt better with less people, and got even more nervous riding with a bigger pack in the rain. as suspected, i had a hard time positioning myself for the sprint, and came around the last corner poorly placed. then i was a big sissy and couldn't figure out how to wiggle through people. ya know, in my mind there was no way to wiggle through all the traffic in front of me...however, the actual photo shows a pretty clear shot. funny how i remember things....

sissy-- see straight ahead.

anyway, it was pretty bad day on the bike for me, and it was cold and i was wet, and was happy to go home....many hours later, as michael was announcing.

week 3-- track is back

some time the third week in april, i went back to the track. my first night back was a tuesday night points race. EEEEK. let me just say i have become a roadie.....

i was so scared for the first race, i went off the front with someone at the whistle cause i didn't want to ride in a 30 person pack. uh huh. i know, i am lame.

but what was more lame, was how i couldn't stand up on my track bike. i tried a couple of time... for about 2 pedal strokes, then i was all fumbly and had to sit down. i am teaching a women's track clinic in a month, so i better figure out how to ride this thing again.

here is proof of me being a sissy on a saturday omnium, leaving a ridiculously huge amount of space between me and hunter. i better learn to htfu out there soon!

anyway, i did tuesday night race with the B men, and a saturday omnium with the B men. let me just say: B men are B men for a reason. now my first night back shelley evans was out there killin' it in A's... and let me say, she's got some cronies in the A's. me? no cronies. those B men are mean. they chase me down immediately and shove me around. i couldn't beleive how much i was bumping elbows.

last week, i did my first A's race the other week, and suddenly had some cronies in the field. mostly, that was eric balfus, who made sure i didn't get dropped and closed gaps for me. but everyone was nice to me and there was no shoving me around. so, i determined that A men are better than B men.

anyway, i've gotten to the track a few times. a tuesday night race. a saturday race. a tuesday practice. a sunday practice. a wednesday night race. i am happy to report i can now stand up on my bike. it only took 5 sessions back. yikes.

week 4-- wente weekend

so sometime between week 3 and 4 of april, i upgraded a category. i really didn't want to, cause i think cat3 is the best category, as you can race wherever you want and can race twice a day..... but people kept giving me shit, and i am a pushover. plus, i needed to turn in my upgrade so i could race the sacto grand prix with the wells fargo team. so i guess that was legitimate reason.

wente rr

so saturday i did the wente rr in livermore. not much noteworthy here. i put myself in bad position on the second time up the hill, then when it exploded there was no way i could catch up to the front group. so, i was in a loser group the rest of the day for a very long time. we worked okay together, but it is hard to get excited about racing for 14th place. so, yeah, that stunk. i felt really good that day, so i was bummed i was a nitwit where i should have known better and bummed i just wasn't good enough to catch up.

wente crit

so m was announcing, and my race wasn't until the afternoon...and i didn't really want to sit around all day, so i was going to BART to dublin, then bike to the race. i used the trustworthy google bike maps.

all was great grand, until a road ended and i had to jump a barrier. this was fine and i got back on the road i needed to be one. but a few miles later, i hit another snafu-- there was a big sign that said: "no through traffic", but i ignored it because i was a bike, and we ignore things like that.

when i got to the big fence, i figured no problem, i can jump that, and proceeded to go over to it... until i saw the *very big* security guard. he wasn't having any of it. i tried to tell him i needed to get over to stanley rd, which was only 2 miles through...but he didn't care, and said that there was no alternate route, and this was private property, and blah blah blah. and i tried to tell him i had a bike race to win, but he didn't seem to care.

so i back tracked on my bicycle, and went down some dead-end type of streets...and, well, didn't really know what to do. i called a few friends who i thought might be by a computer, but no dice.

then i had a couple minute cry session.

and then i gathered myself to think of the next step and come up with a logical solution.

yes, that is right. i text messaged facebook.

what has the world come to?

i was hoping someone would call me with directions. and, wow, within a few minutes susannah breen called me and was to my rescue. she tried to give me directions, but the roads were not looking good, so she said she & mark would pick me up and take me to the race! it was so wonderfully nice! they are just so amazing!

i rolled around for an hour, half-assing some warmup efforts and getting sunburnt, cause, of course, my lotion was in the car, which was at the race.

by the time i made it to the race, i had about 30 minutes. i was pretty much toasted and exhausted. i ate 2 GUs and tried to compile myself.

race started, and it was pretty slow. i felt really out of it and was having a hard time focusing. there were lots of crashes. i got caught behind 2 of them, and that last one resulted in a restart. when we restarted, it was 5 to go, and i did a better job staying near the front. had an okay sprint, but it wasn't good enough, and i photo finished, but was still the loser.

loser shot, see top. doesn't even look close.

bah. you can watch this cool video of the finish and me attempting to roadie sprint.

so, there we have it. that is about it for april. now i am all caught up, because i didn't race for the first 2 weeks of may!

life in review: volume 4--out like a lamb!

2010-04-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

so, as suspected. i am still behind. life is rough. one day i hope to provide a blog post with recent material of the previous day's (or even weeks) activities. until then, be prepared to read about old crap.

so, moving on to the end of march. first off, let me just say that there is a real lack of cute pictures of lambs and sheep!

see what i mean?

this one would be cute if it didn't get in a street fight with a black eye and limp right leg.

and even this stuffed animal looks like its on drugs

le sigh.

not sure what ugly lambs have to do with the end of march, but i'm sure it is something. after the madera stage race i went to sactown for two races. as i discussed, i was a bit bummed by the likes of madera, so was hoping for some racing...the fields were 1/2/3 races, so they were likely to be much faster.

zamora road race

so because this was my first road race with the 1/2/3s, i figured i should know my place and start on the very back. yeah, i know better than to line up at the very back, but it just seemed like that was appropriate given that i was cat3 scum. perhaps this wouldn't have been a big deal had i actually had some skillz...but i couldn't seem to figure out how to get out of that last row for...well, pretty much the entire race.

the race was fast. this was fun; however, this also proved hard for me to move up considering we were either going super fast making it hard to move up, or we were clumped up shoulder to shoulder up to the yellow line, and i couldn't figure out how to mccook it to the front. no matter what i did, i couldn't get out of that back third of the pack.... i'd put in a huge effort to move up one row, and then somehow end up right back where i started.

when i'd come around the start/finish i'd hear michael yelling "beth, move up"... as i was in the last row. the only instructions i had for the race were: "practicing moving up"... and i was pretty much getting an "F". i wanted to put a footnote on the scantron, saying: 'honestly, i swear to god, i am trying to move up; i know it looks like i was being a lazy butt drafting at the back, but is not intentional!'

as i kept trying to move up, i kept falling back right to where i started. i was getting super frustrated with myself, as i'd see people who were next to me,suddenly be way at the front; i just couldn't figure out how to do that. i couldn't get away from the same 6 or 7 riders, no matter how much i tried... i'd always end up back where i started. it was like the first time i rode with andreas vogel on the track.... i did everything i could to move away from him, and within a second he was in front of me again. sigh.

so the last ten miles i'm getting a bit panicy, cause i really want to get out of the back but can't figure out how to move up. attacks were off the front, and at this point i just wanted to be somewhere respectable so i could field sprint. my frustration level with myself was at an 11...and i just wanted to mitigate my lack of ability at this point, by having a decent finish.

on the last hill i tried dodging around some people the best i could and put some big efforts in on the road before the final turn. i took the last turn about 20 people back. but i got kinda lucky and powered up the far far right side of the road that was pretty clear and luckily no one shut the door on me. as i was passing people, i realized i was passing a lot of people and then suddenly thought i could get a top 5, maybe. but then on the bump before the finish, i must have gotten a ton of speed, cause i got 2nd in the field sprint, for a 3rd overall.

here is a picture of me and emily kachorek in the final field sprint.

also-- check out hors categorie cycling photography sequence on stretch of road. this was pretty fun for me to look at, because it was multiple shots of the end of the race. it is always kind of a blur to me what happens in that final minute, so it was fun to see it in a more cognizant state. http://hcphoto.smugmug.com/DBC-My-Home-Team/Bariani-Road-Race/2010-Bariani-RR-11am/11571016_FZPtx/1/823247826_Xhvv2/Medium (I am way on the left side with the black jersey and yellow sleeves).

anyway, it was pretty sweet to get 3rd place and some awesome bariani olive oil (whee!), but i did feel like a douche, considering how poorly i rode the entire day.

landpark criterium
this is one of the few races i have done multiple times. for my warmup, michael kept making me do efforts on my rollers before the race and i was super tired and wanted to stop, but he kept making me do more. i was so tired. thank god the race was delayed 10 minutes so i had a minute to catch my breath.

this time, i made sure to line up at the front.

this picture is proof.

this didn't help much, cause i missed my pedal, then somehow made it back to the pack on lap one. JESUS- i was so mad at myself when i came around on lap 1 to find myself in the last spot.

but unlike the day before, i got LOTS of practice moving up. in fact, i got so much practice moving up, because i couldn't maintain my position to save my life! move up move up... go back, back. i felt like a bad paula abdul song. at one point during the race i thought: god damnit, i am riding so much more cause i am covering all this ground twice.

it was a fast race. i wanted to puke and couldn't believe how much we were strung out. i didn't even consider going for any primes. i just did my best to get to the front before the s-turns, because i was bound to lose about 5 positions each time. so with a 5 to go i was in good position; then with 3 to go, i was again at the back of the pack. then i moved up and with 1 to go was sitting about 10th wheel next to some fast people. i was actually happy with this, until there was swarm on the backside of the course, and i couldn't figure out how to not get sucked into the middle of the pack. it was all bad news, really.

not really sure how things played out to my advantage, but we came around the last turn, and i was pretty far back, but it looked like all the leadouts got messed up or something, so i just went early on the right side of the road, while everyone was clumped on the left. went i jumped early, i didn't think i could hold it, but was hoping to get a top 5... but i don't think anyone saw me for a bit, cause i was on the other side of the road, so i had a big gap to pad my sprint. the sprint felt like it was going on forever, and my sprint soon turned into a brisk pedaling, and i was hoping the line would come sooner rather than later.

upon seeing the finish line, i remembered my teammate's advice not to celebrate til after the line. except, at that point, i was so tired from such a long sprint, the only thing i could do with my hands was shift into the little ring. which is what i did promptly after crossing the finish line. luckily you can see my boyfriend in the background doing my victory salute for me. thanks honey!

and i won a cutting board at this race! i think this was a really cool and useful prize. thanks! i was excited between the olive oil and cutting board. i like kitchen supplies.

well, the rest of march......... i went bowling for my birthday........ i pre-rode the copperopolis course...... uhh, i think that was about it. in general, i think this picture sums up the end of march, going out like a lamb.

next up is: life in review: volume 5-- april showers. that is a pretty lame title, but maybe i'll think of something cooler....

bye!

life in review: volume 3--the ides of march

2010-04-08T18:06:00.000-07:00

yes, i would say that was a pretty accurate feeling on the monday after madera stage race. as discussed in volume 2, i had been on the iron for about a week. this resulted in HUGE psychosomatic benefits. like, one night, i even stayed up until 9:30! boo yah!

unfortunately, psychosomatics only get you so far.

apparently.

well, let us back track to the two days prior to the ides of march...

saturday, march 13.

we woke up at o-dark-o'clock to get down to madera for the criterium. considering how much i loved sleeping the two weeks prior, this was not a happy wake up. but i faked it, cause michael was kind enough to drive me and be my bitch all weekend.

after the coffee kicked in, i was excited for my bitch slappin' weekend. form, shwarm. anemia, shnanemia. yay bikes! rah rah!

so because my awesome bell lap team kits have not yet arrived [i swear to god i am going to have a matching jersey and bibs this year...], i get to play the game of "what do i want to wear today?"

now, some people-- (cou--anthony eng--gh) like to give me grief about my rotating outfits. that is because he is a big loser. don't give me grief for racing in hand-me-down chamois! i don't even have two of anything! no, i am not trying to fool anyone. people can tell who i am by my big quads and snazzy orange bar tape and tire sidewalls. what more do you want from me?

anyway, so because this was three races in two days, i got to pick out three different outfits. lucky me!

race 1: criterium

attire: lauren haughey's old team oakland kit. now, lauren gave this to me probably 2 years ago. it instantenously became my favorite outfit, because:

i felt super official wearing it because the shorts and shirts were a unified combo. as in, an official team uniform! (although i wasn't on this team)
it was orange! yay orange!
i love team oakland! they are my homeboys.

anyway, i love(d) this kit so much, i perhaps over wore it. i mean, i just felt so COOL in it and that is why i wore a couple of times a week for about two years. the chamois are so comfortable. scratch that, the chamois were so comfortable. sometime this fall they turned into not being so comfortable.... in fact, i'd say they became super uncomfortable. yes, i washed them! jesus. anyway, sometime this fall these shorts became reserved for very special occasions-- being seen... and short workouts. so, this criterium was perfect!

nice kit. as you can tell, it matches great with my tires and bar tape.

check out my awesome warm-up roller skills. ....oh yeah, i brought a trainer to madera. scratch that.

okay, the race. let's see. all in all, it kinda sucked. mostly cause 2 fields were being run on the course at the same time and we combined in the last few laps and mayhem ensued. i didn't even sprint at the end, as it was so chaotic. the highlight of my race was getting a 5 second bonus prime by pretending i was riding a miss 'n out. this 5 seconds will be super important later.

we had a big women's 3 field this weekend!

race 2: time trial

attire: unnattached kit. yeah, click on that link. for real, click on it! see that is me right on the home page! now that is fame! he did photoshop that picture a lot to make me look super awesome and fast. but i am okay with that. he also made my ugly green helmet white. a lot of you might appreciate that. thanks michael for the new white helmet!

okay, yeah, the time trial. now i was super ready for it! i had borrowed tom fahey's aero bars and figured out a super sweet aero position. unfortuantely, i couldn't really ride in this position cause i hurt my hip a few weeks early. i also borrowed neighbor stephanie hseih's stupid hat. and i was wearing a skinsuit. that means business. i was ready to go fast. that, and i had 5 second time bonus going in the time trial.

now i realize i wasn't perhaps in the best form going in, but i wasn't going to let a little low iron get me down. i had mad heart for that race. i was rested and i was pissed off about that crit and i was excited to go as hard as could cause i hadn't done that in awhile, so yeah! time trial!

in fact, i was so ready to CRUSH, i figured i would give people a three minute head start....

uh huh, that is what i said. 3 minute head start..... ya know, cause i wanted the road race to be exciting.

unfortunately, i misjudged a bit.

now, how exactly i was three minutes late to my start time is still kind of beyond me, as i thought i had 5 minutes to spare. and i had biked down earlier to check the time and see how long it would take me.

anyway,when i found out i was 3 minutes late i had a shocked and disheartened look on my face;the official looked at me and said, "well, go." so i went. i was so happy i had that 5 seconds in my favor. that meant i was only 2 minutes and 55 seconds late.

anyway, as you can see, the first day of stage racing was a bit of a bummer....as is indicitive by my hair in the below picture.

interlude: juice diet

saturday, march 13 wasn't all bad. i learned one thing: i am super thin!

so before the crit two people told me i was thin. this is kind of an awkward thing hear, and not really knowing how to respond, i of course make a joke back: "i'm on a juice diet." as i found out, people's reactions to this statement were even more awkward, as they looked at me like i was serious (crazy, but serious), and then i had to make it clear that i was joking about the juice diet. and then there was that awkward pregnant pause of: oh, you made a joke and it didn't get it and it wasn't funny. ....yeah....i guess i learned an important lesson. don't joke with roadies about the absurdity of being on a diet, because they will most likely believe you.

bill nicely believed me that i was on a juice diet. but he didn't believe me when i told him i was a climber.

sunday, march 14.
race 3: road race

attire: the previous week i found a great deal at eden bicycle shop in castro valley. on sale capo bibs for $30. actually, michael found them, not me. but i tried them and bought them. super duper! and they looked pretty cool and made my quads look big, so i liked that. a lot. also, bonus that the chamois was super nice and plush. oo la la. so i decided to wear those for the road race and on top, i wore my plain black jersey. the navy blue and black didn't match so well, but what can you do?

here is me sporting my sweet new shorts. poor karla has on team white shorts. HA! i think that is kinda like in high school track when there was always that one school that didn't have shorts but wore bun huggers. and of course i would make fun of them wearing bun huggers....that is until i went to college and had to wear bun huggers on the track team.

anyway, so i had an omelet for breakfast and was ready to rock n roll in the road race. i surprisingly wasn't last place after my TT debacle! actually, i didn't care much about the road race at all-- i just wanted to ride super hard and have lots of fun.

unfortunately, this was not in other people's race plans. in fact, i think their race plan was: 'make beth not have fun and not go fast.' it was perhaps the least fun race ever. ...topped only by that 5 person reverse win 'n out on the track that turned into a track standing contest. (note: i can't track stand) this race was faster than track standing. barely.

i think the slow and negative race really came down to peoples' breakfast choices. on the start line, i did a poll, and was shocked to hear what people had. oatmeal, cheerios, a cliff bar and some fruit. (those were separate answers, one person didn't eat all of that). we had 70 miles ahead of us! no wonder everyone was such a sissy pants! perhaps i wouldn't have been so energetic if i had had less breakfast.

i think the highlight of my race actually when we stopped to pee. i had never done that before. (that is, pee en group on the side of the road.) it was actually a great time to pee, because some geezer field had just passed us, but then slowed down and we were about to pass them back. this was going to be annoying for the next few laps, so the pee break was great timing. except after the pee break, we almost caught them again. this is when i told the cool moto ref to zoom up there and tell the old guys to grow a ball or two. he zoomed up to them, and i don't know if he completed my instructions, but they did speed up.

anyway, everyone seemed content to keep their GC placing and no one wanted to go with any attacks and everything got chased down, and then sat up... blah blah blah. oh, but i did get some really awesome race advice: "beth, you really aren't going to get away and are just tiring yourself out. if you want to get in a break, you should really tell someone before you are going to attack."

i didn't hit anyone in the gut this time. that was for later!

so, yeah, the race was dumb. when the rollers started before the finish line, tyler jumped away. i was a few people back and in bad position... so it was either try and bridge across (if i could, which was unlikely at that point) and probably drag people with me, or move up for the final hill sprint. i did the later, so got second. /yeehaw./ please observe the sarcasm. it was a long and boring race.

as you can tell, it wasn't exactly a great weekend of racing for me, but i think i at least got some good training in. so that is what i really wanted. plus, i met some nice folks, so that is always fun!

et tu brute?

why march 15th was a stab in the back? had i really killed it the prior weekend, i would have expected to feel like a piece of shit. ...but i didn't really kill it-- and i still felt like a piece of shit! in fact, in the whole weekend of racing, there was probably 30 minutes of hard riding-- between the time trial and the finish of the road race. so why i was feel so exhausted was quite disheartening.

well, that is it friends, the ides of march.

next up: 'life in review: volume 4--out like a lamb'. this is the final addition of my catch up. that means everything next week will be in real time. (or at least pretty close to it.). i know, the excitement must be overwhelming.

(included just cause i love these things)

life in review: volume 2--in like a lion!

2010-04-07T13:18:00.000-07:00

in like a lion.........

that is what they say about the beginning of march.

back when i lived in ohio, i am guessing this referred to snow storms, which were supposedly over by the end of the month. yeah, right, like that ever happened.

who knows! i just like this lion cartoon. isn't it cute?

i don't really think march came in like a lion for me. beginning of march i got my blood drawn and found out i was almost anemic. yes, yes, i can hear all the "i told you so's" -- from all those people who have been on my case for not eating meat for the last five or six years. i guess donnettes don't cut it..... it's a shame, really.

anyway, the doctor told me to get on the juice. and by juice, i mean iron pills.

my whole life i have been very bad at keeping on regimens. especially vitamin regimens. i only take vitamins after a night of drinking alcohol, as i am convinced it prevents hangovers. so when faced with the task of taking a pill everyday... i was quite nervous about my success rate of actually taking my iron pill.

in hopes to hype myself up for this seemingly very difficult self-care task ahead of me, i read everything i could on ways to increase iron absorption.

iron is best absorbed on an empty stomach.
it is also best absorbed when NOT taken with zinc or calcium, as they compete for absorption.
BUT vitamin C helps iron absorption.
take your iron pills 2 hours after eating, or 1 hour before eating.

now, this order presented quite a conundrum for me. when during the waking day do i not eat for 3 hours?

i thought and thought......

breakfast.....post-breakfast snack....lunch.....lunch2....post lunch snack........pre-ride snack......post-ride lean1....dinner1: after-ride-before-michael-gets-home-from-work-dinner, dinner2: dinner-with-michael.........

when exactly i could take this iron supplement to maximize my iron absorption!?!

the only logical time it seemed for me to take my iron pill was between 2am and 4am.

i was sure this was going to set me up for failure. after all, if i couldn't even get on a schedule to take a multivitamin for more than 5 days straight...how in god's name was i going to get up at 3am to take my iron pill?

i don't know how, but i think this is the best i have ever done taking a pill. my strategy is as follows. i drink a big glass of water right before i go to sleep, then i usually wake up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, and stumble upon the bottle of ferrous fumarate that i keep next to the sink. and it is that easy.

anyway, my 'low iron' is how much rolled in.

the day after i got my blood test results and started my iron pill, i went on a 4 hour bike ride. the previous week i had been so sleepy, even one hour rides were hard. but when i got on the bike that day- i was ready to roll! i zipped along for a good hour-- clearly the one iron pill had solved all my problems!

well, that didn't last very long, as i crawled home up redwood road wishing i had a granny gear. scratch that, it wasn't the gear. i really just wanted to take a nap in the park. it was warm and sunny and napping sounded much nicer than bicycle riding.

well, that the beginning of march. so, yes-- in like a lion.

oh lions are so cute!

(when they are sleeping!)

next up-- life in review: volume 3--the ides of march.... oooooooooooooooo

porta potty manifesto...and copperopolis race report

2010-04-06T16:23:00.000-07:00

march can wait—let me write about the copperopolis road race.

...for those of you who don't know about the copperopolis road race, it is hilly and the road hasn't been repaved since the probably the new deal.

there were some doubters that i was actually going to do the copperopolis road race. in fact, nice guy, team captain brian peterson sent me the following email in january when i said i was going to do this race:

you are really going to do copperopolis? don't you know there is a hill on that course?

yes, i knew there was a hill on the course! thus began my peterson training, which i discussed in an earlier blog post. i couldn’t wait to cross the finish line and bellow out peterson’s name: PEEEEETEEEERSOOOOOON!!!!

i didn’t so much care if i was first or last, i just really wanted to yell his name at the finish line and get some weird looks.

so m and i woke up early for the race and i made the porta potty stop right when i got there… now, it was a super long porta potty line. i mean, extra long. There were probably 12 porta potties in commission. i couldn’t figure out why the line was long… i mean, i know it was 7:30am, so a bunch of people could have been taking their morning craps… but the line was moving very slowly. especially given how many stalls there were. after standing in line for awhile, i started to notice certain doors weren’t moving at all. [now, please note: these porta poties didn't have the red/green markers on them if you knew if they were open/closed]

at this point, i am about 15 people back, and i get out of line and try the door on the end, which i had noticed hadn’t moved in awhile…

open.

the next one, locked.

the 3rd one.

open.

i started going down the line of porta potties grabbing the handles and yanking them... and 6 were OPEN! there was a bit of commotion in the porta potty line at that point in time.

jesus, people! check the doors!

this happened yet again about 30 minutes later. i went back to the rest room while some of the men’s fields were started and there were 8 people in line. this time i just walk right up and start opening doors, and i demonstrated that 4 doors in a row were open.

at this point, i decide it was going to be a pretty good day. next, i did a very important thing:

thank you, boyfriend, for taking a picture of this. dipshit.

so, i get to the start line and there are only 9 of us. that kind of stinks, but i think if we had a huge field, it wouldn’t have made a difference. by the time of the first climb, we were down to 5. that lap a big dog almost ate us. YIKES! pace was pretty solid, i thought, and when we came through the feed zone to start lap 2, we were just behind the 1/2 women, so that was cool! after that climb, it was just three of us: tyler stewart, the tootsie roll eating pro iron (wo)man triathlete and miss marian jaminson. we rode lap 2 pretty good, i thought. i felt better this lap-- it was pretty cool to be in a small group with a pro-triatlete! i had no clue how long i’d last at this game, so i was having a good time. but, i shouldn't have been fooled by feeling good on lap 2, cause lap 3 i didn't feel so good!

start line... that is probably the happiest you will have seen me all day.

this is us at lap 2, looking pretty funny.

we go through the feedzone and this was probably the highlight of the race. i was a bit loopy at this point…probably should have been eating more (or riding slower, one of the two!) i had my water bottle to throw off, and I think I chucked it a bit too hard and nailed some lady in the gut in the feedzone! OOPS! my friend rainer was on the sidelines and said: “i think she threw that overhand”.

the climb up the last lap was hard for me. when the pavement smoothed out, tyler took off. now if 'she took off,' or i just hit the wall like a big sissy, i couldn’t say. alls I knew is the distance between us was growing at an exponential rate!

check out the sweet pictures from velodramatic. this is our 2nd time up this hill. as you can see here we are all suffering pretty good behind tyler... so you can just imagine the last lap!

marian and i crested the hill and thought for a second we could catch her, so we went as hard as we could (which was probably pretty pathetic at that point), and instead of catching tyler, it was some old guy wearing blue. doh! that last lap is a bit of a blur. all I remember is things that I didn’t think were hills in lap 1 and 2, suddenly became crazy steep pitches. i was so wasted at the finish line, I forgot to yell PEEETEEERSOOOOON, even though michael had the video function on his camera ready for me. rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. so mad!

anyway, long story short is that was hard!

i ate 4 burritos when I got home!

(homemade burrittos... not serious restaurant burritos.)

life in review: volume 1-- february

2010-04-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

so i need to go back in time.... i am sure i could just start from the present... but i was one of those guilty diary keepers as a kid, and if i missed a day.. or a week.. or a month, i'd always backtrack. so that is what i am doing here.. too much good stuff to share.

let's see, we last spoke in early february when i had my team ride. boo yah! i discussed how much peterson sucks. he is out of shape now, so i can't wait to kill him next time i see him.

so i think i pretty much peaked on that team ride. (like planned). the next morning we woke up and michael and i tried to ride mount diablo. it was super bowl sunday, officially the best day of the year to ride bikes, because everyone is off the road. so we rode as slow as a windup toy to the base of diablo... i rode up half way like i was an old granny with a walker, then went down, deciding riding all the way to the top was just stupid. (i.e. there was no way i was going to make it to the top.) at this point in time i think i also informed my boyfriend i think it is stupid when people propose on the top of mt diablo. not that that was actually anywhere in the horizon-- i just wanted my matter of opinion to be out there. and also i want that matter of opinion to be out there to the whole blogosphere: don't propose to me on top of mt diablo, unless you want me to say no. it's stupid. i hate it up there.

we took bart back, but used our hellyer "free pete's coffee drink" on our way home. i used this opportunity to have some fancy pancy coffee drink which i couldn't even pronounce (and didn't really know what it was), but that didn't stop me from adding shots of this and that to it... cause, it was free! amazingly, after this "coffee" i felt like a rockstar and was ready to actually go ride up mt. diablo five times... but, alas, we took bart home.. oh well. i guess that is why people drink that shit before the ride, not after.

whatever.

so then i hurt myself in the gym, cause i was stupid, and thus turned into miss whiny pants for a good week or two every time i tried to pedal, cause i was totally worthless on the bike. and then i found out i was borderline anemic and thus was totally worthless off the bike too. but i deserved in A+ sleeping! i was really good at it! honestly, i'm lucky i didn't get dumped. good thing my quads are lookin' good. anyway, pedaling so crappily let me master some other cross training activities, like this.

beth bikes learns to DUNK!

that's right, bitches!

so sometime mid-february, i did some ride called "the grasshopper". don't be fooled, grasshoppers are MEAN. i show up at this non-race, RACE.. something like a 81 mile (non) RACE with 8,000+ ft of climbing. MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!! it started straight up. at the beginning of the ride michael starts pushing me up the hills and i get a little ants in my pants, thinking: 'don't push me!' but i don't really say anything, cause i can't exactly keep up anyway. by mile 80 (...hell, mile 40!) i was cursing him for only pushing me everything 4th pedal stroke, instead of every 2nd pedal stroke, on some 20% grade, or something stupid like that. ouch.

anyway, here is a lovely picture of me, my boyfriend, and my ex-boyfriend.

hahaha.

and you know what i have to say to them? scoreboard, bitches! that ride was so hard i think i fell asleep on the car ride home.

i am pretty sure that grasshopper ride put me under for the next week or so. so then, my first road race of the year arrives... SNELLING ROAD RACE!

before the race i hung out by the porta potties, like this....

don't knock it!!

then, the super-pro, roman killun comes to talk to me... now i don't think i wrote about this, but before christmas, i had plans to go for a bike ride with martina...and then i find out that this ride is with roman, and some other fast dudes, and i am very nervous about getting dropped. we did some loop that usually takes me 4 hours to do in 3 hours, and when i get home, i fall into some deep sleep, when i was supposed to be doing christmas shopping!

anyway, on this ride roman keeps looking at my AWESOME bicycle. i don't know if you've heard of a neuvation bike-- but it "it is an aluminium bike, that rides like titanium!" (that is what the website said! i was sold!) anyway, i thought he was going to give me shit about my frame, but instead, he starts giving me shit about my janky setup. what's wrong with having shimano, sram, AND campy?!?! it creates for lovely musical bikes! and fun shifting!

sometime in february, my michael swapped out my cranks and i got a new rear derraileur, so for the first time in a year i had matching parts. and how COOL it was to shift just once to get in the gear you want!! (also i got a compact crank.... so i bet that is why my quads are getting smaller.... oh well, i like being lazy!) so, at snelling, while sitting in the parking lot, the first thing roman does is come up to me and immediately looks down checking out my bike and goes: "thank god you have all matching components now."

pros are such prima donnas!

so snelling road race went like this. we started and it was slow for the first 1 minute, and i was bored so i attacked. then i got caught and i attacked again. then someone told me: "what are you doing, do you really think you are going to stay away to the end of the race?" and that annoyed me so i attacked again. and then the pack sped up (and i was tired) and i got myself dropped! yes, i got dropped in the first 10 minutes! i chased and chased and was like, OH SHIT, what if i just got myself dropped out of this race?! this is going to be a pissy car ride home! but thankfully i caught back on, and then was miss sissy pants for the next lap on the back. then i got dropped again in the tailwind section, cause i was in the back and got gapped off, but chased back on... and you can see a pattern here..... luckily, i managed to be in good position the last lap to not get dropped there the last lap, and went around the last turn okay, but when the sprint occurred, well, i was *slow*. i held my position for 4th, so that was cool and landed me a sweet velo promo shirt- YEAH!

well, praise jesus, i am through february! march was an exciting month, so perhaps i will break it up into two segments... maybe not, though. i love the epic long posts that no one can get through.

okay, hugs and kisses to all my readers! and please leave me comments about the color scheme. if you don't like, tell me what would be more pleasing on your eyes! peace!

oooo... new colors

2010-04-01T15:47:00.001-07:00

i wish i could have more of an exciting post, but really this is just to highlight that i re-did my colors. what do you think? did you like the dark background better?

why do i even ask such questions? no one reads this anymore, because i have been a bad poster. it is true. i don't even get hate mail anymore about not writing.

oh well, maybe these new colors will result in more writing inspiration. i do, after all, have LOTS to share!

i don't want the pop tart

2010-02-08T20:10:00.000-08:00

"did you race this weekend?"

"yes"

"cherry pie?"

"no"

"??!!"

so, how exactly did i do a race this weekend? well, you see, it was my first team ride. [which team you ask? bell lap racing. me and some masters men. that's how i like it. (p.s. please be our fan on facebook)] now, how exactly does team ride=race?

well, it does.

for me.

the last three weeks i have been prepping for my race. i do my intervals and all i have been thinking when it gets hard is "petersoooooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then i go faster. last week i did the cal aggie "race" for the mere reason that i needed to get some speed work in before the real race this past saturday.

on monday, i start my peaking for the big day. and, mostly importantly, i let the shit talking begin on the team email list. not many engage in my shit-talking, except tom fahey: telling me that for every city limit sign i lose, i have to do pushups.

then people start bailing on the ride.... pelaez cannot come because he is 'moving.' while i would love to crush pelaez-- cause all he does is eat my food-- that will have to wait for another day. the real person i wanted to crush on saturday was brian peterson. "petersooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

the morning of the ride, i receive a text message on my phone that peterson cannot come because he is 'getting sick.'

scared of getting sick? scared of the rain? or scared of beth newell! it's the later, clearly.

i send him a text message telling him that he is scared, and he told me tom fahey would beat me in all the sprints. of course peterson would instruct his crony to uphold his honor. peterson is a pretty shitty shit talker.

so we meet at philz coffee in palo alto and i am ready for the tour de peninsula ride. bebe and burns show up and we talk about how weak peterson is. and we decide we want to start a list of reasons brian peterson sucks. i decided i was going to collect these on my blog and publish on every subsequent post for awhile-- so please leave your reasons in the comment section, or email me, or send them to me on facebook. but here is my reason #1:

REASON #1 BRIAN PETERSON SUCKS: THOSE STUPID GEEK WEEZER GLASSES-- DARK FRAMED GLASSES WERE SO 2001, BITCH.

when tom shows up we stop shit talking peterson, obviously. and then the ride started and it was ON.

well, it was ON for me.

i don't know if it was ON for anyone else. but i thrashed my bike. city limit sprints aren't very fun when you don't know when they are coming. but it didn't matter so much. the last one, tom even gave me a rundown of the sprint before it was going to happen because i was such weak sauce. - and then we were going down the road putting out approximately 2500 watts in the sprint windup, and then i couldn't do it any more and fell off fahey's wheel well before the line. and there you have it. newell: 0. fahey: 5.

and goddamnit, it is so on now. now i am going to be thinking "faheeeeeey!!!!!!!!" while doing my intervals" that is way better than peterson. because tom is a better shittalker. and he doesn't have ugly glasses, just a lumberjack beard.

and that is how it supposed to be right? trying to tear apart your own teammates?

i must say, i think tom fahey is a very worthy opponent, for more reasons than him being a good shit talker. you know why? he has excellent coordination of his bike. blue bar tape, blue tires, blue hoods. now, i'm not so into blue-- but i'm into making your bike have a little pazaz. something far too few people do-- with their boring black frames, black bartape, black hoods, and black tires. i mean, damn. what gives? even if you have a fugly frame like mine, you can at least make your bike look cool with some awesome bar tape, hudz hoods, and sweet sidewalls. and fahey is all about that. so i have mad respect for that. that and he told me i should do pushups for losing.

anyway, fun teamride. but i don't want that damn pop tart, okay?

ding dongs and donnettes

2010-02-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

one must prepare for the first race of the season correctly. this could perhaps include a night trip to 7/11.

now, i am still kinda mad at 7/11 for never writing back to my most excellent letter about the slurpy incident. but we were walking home and wanted to get dessert, and the option was 7/11 or whole foods, and 7/11 seemed like the more logical choice.

there is a wide selection of sweet treats at 7/11. this includes, but is not limited to: candy bars, slurpies, and a wide variety of hostess and generic cake-like snacks.

let me review hostess snacks.

fruit pies: those cherry or apple pie gooie things...to ones that look a bit more questionable filled with chocolate pudding. the cherry one is quite yummy and good on long rides. although it has been known to get wiped all over my face, which can be both endearing or gross, depending on how you look at me.
the chocolate cake filled with cream variety. these include hohos, ding dongs, cupcakes, suzy q's. all the same, just with different packaging. chocolate cake, cream, dipped in chocolate. now, let me just say, i always preferred the little debbie cakes, to the hostess. the little debbie swiss roll is far, far superior to hostess ho hos. unfortuantely, little debbie does not sell singles (like hostess does) in gas stations and 7/11s. it is a shame, really, because little debbie would certainly have a corner on the market, because they are far superior in quality.
twinkies and snowballs. not a huge fan of these, but they should be included, as they are classics.
donnettes. in my opinion, donnettes are really the hostess product worth buying. this goes for both the ones dipped in chocolate and the ones covered in powder sugar.

now, how did i get on the dissertation of hostess snacks?

oh yes, what i did the day before my first race of the year.

stopped at 7/11 for a late night treat, and i picked up the hostess cupcakes, and my boyfriend got the donnettes. actually, he didn't get the donnettes, he picked up the generic 7/11 version of donnettes, of the glazed variety, and they were nasty. soggy and nasty. and speaking of nasty, my hostess cupcake was not good either. hostess really needs to work on their chocolate cake/cream snacks, and should take a lesson from little debbie, in my humble opinion. i did a quick google, and found this awesome blog, that confirms my core belief over and over, that in fact little debbie is better than hostess. (this blog is pretty interesting, because does comparative taste testing of pre-packaged snacks). why, little debbie, i ask again, don't you wrap and sell individual packages?

anyway, the short of it was the late night dessert run was pretty much a big disappointment.

so fast forward to cal aggie criterium. let's see, i'll give the couple of sentence obligatory race report. [start] the race started. i missed my foot clipping in. an attack went off in the first lap or two and two girls got away. i decided to try and bridge across. except then i hung out all alone for over a lap and thought i was going to die. then two girls blew past and i almost got myself dropped, but by the grace of god i latched on we then had a group of five for the rest of the race. i kept thinking: why are criteriums so long? then it was the last lap and i was lame in the last turn, fa la la la la. [end obligatory race report]

so after the race we stop at the gas station and michael says: "can i have $2" and in he goes, and out he comes with some donnettes (of the good variety) and some ding dongs.

hostess ding dongs look myseriously like hostess cupcakes. please observe:

hostess cupcake

hostess ding dong

to me, the only difference appears to the white swirly pattern on the top. hmmmmm.

anyway, are hostess ding dongs just as gross as the cupcakes? i don't know. i decided not to partake, despite post-race hunger. the night before was such a disappointment, i couldn't handle it again. i did, though, eat some of the donnettes, even though i know he intended to eat all the donnettes and for me to eat the ding dongs. we did not discuss this, i just knew his intent, and decided independently to eat some of his donnettes.

so what is the result of the hostess splurge two days in a row?

let me tell you. it involves stopping at the "produce market" in dixon on the way home-- where the excellent deals are advertised on the billboards.... and then somehow spending FIFTY EIGHT DOLLARS on produce...and those stupid wasabi peas i just had to have. unfortunately my prize from the crit was a "one free drink of choice" coupon at peet's, so i can't even deduct prize winning from the shopping spree to make me feel better (i.e. effectively saying i only spent $48 or $38 on groceries).

lesson learned, don't just eat 3 donnettes after a race and then go grocery shopping.

blame the interval

2010-01-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

tonight i came to an important conclusion: never do your last interval.

now, i know that some people are of the 'do an extra interval' school. and perhaps on occasion i would opt for extra credit, but mostly no... tonight i needed those 12 minutes.

so maybe i went on a night ride on wednesday for 2.5 hours....
and maybe it was 4:45pm today and i realized i forgot to plug in my light
and maybe i just did a 15 minute "quick power charge."
and maybe i didn't even give a second thought to that maybe being a problem...

so i finish my intervals and am riding along redwood road and going so slow i can barely bike straight. and it is foggy as hell (...well, hell isn't probably foggy, but trust me it was foggy), and i am thinking about how happy i am i have this bright light and thinking about how cool bot-dots are, because they are the only thing keeping me from steering straight....and i think about how i could write an ode to bot dots. and how funny that would be, because when i was a cat4 (waaaay last year) i hated bot dots, and now i was getting all sentimental of how much i love them for lighting up the road.

and as i was having this sappy thought about writing a sonnett to bot dots, it looked like my light was turning red.

'whoa, those must have been some hard intervals' i thought to myself, assuming that blood vessels in my eyes were causing optical illusions.

and then maybe i kinda remembered that my intervals were a good 10 minutes ago, and i shouldn't be seeing funny.

and then maybe i thought: wow, my light is going die. and this red thing is probably some super fancy pants technology like the "gas light" on a car.

digression. now i love the gas light on the car. how far can i go til i run out of gas? yeah, i know this is bad for the engine... but the adrenaline rush is kind of great sometimes. getting all panicky driving and not knowing when the gas station will come, and then the relief. note: i've never /actually/ run out of gas; cause i am very lucky.

but this light situation was a bit different. maybe....

it was dark. and there were mountain lions out there. maybe....

and so i maybe start another interval and pedal really fast for 2 or 3 minutes. and then maybe my light starts getting dimmer and dimmer. but not out. maybe it is reducing itself to a different setting. the orange "on" light turned red.

so how long do i have? i wonder. maybe i shouldn't have done that last interval.

and i start thinking.....

maybe i should call someone. who should i call? and so i make a little list in my head: karla, ben, sean, mel. that was be my list. because i know they we all pick me up. and they all live kinda close to where i was. and they will all make fun of me terribly. but lovingly.

then i think: maybe i will call them when my light actually dies.

so i keep pedalling and come to the pinehurst/redwood intersection. and then i know i only have 2 miles uphill to go. and i feel like i will make it.

and then it dies. but right in front of a driveway with a light. wow, i am lucky.

so i pull out my phone to call karla, and ...there is no service out there. maybe i'm not so lucky.

so i start pedaling. people say "your eyes adjust to the dark." adjust to what? dark is dark! i still couldn't see jack shit.

and the thing is when it is dark dark, you start hearing things. animals. like maybe mountain lions.

and so i start the plea bargaining. 'just let me get to skyline blvd, because then there are street lights, and then i know i can make it home.'

and then cars come by and i make up my 'car interval' game.... which is close your eyes as they approach so you don't get blinded by the headlights, then go as fast as you can when they pass you to use their taillight for a few seconds.

and as i was biking in the pitch black i thought about how this ride is going to make a great blog post. and then i started thinking about how many of my blog posts are about bad things happening to me or me being stupid. and i wonder why i only ever feel inspired to write when something bad happens. and i wonder if i make bad things happen so i can write blog posts. and i thought about how all the people who read this blog must think i am a big nitwit.

and then i started to see the street lights at skyline. and i thought about how lucky i am. honestly, i am very lucky. in 5th grade i won an american girl doll in a raffle. in college i won a $500 gift certificate to roadrunnersports.com where i bought lots of running shoes. and then how a couple of years ago i got picked out of hundred of people to be a juror on a murder trial. maybe not lucky, but chance. and then i hoped luck would get me home. and then i hoped that luck will extend to make me a redistricting commissioner.

and so my little bowt in the dark make me feel pretty good about my lot in the world.

but it also scared me enough to teach me a very valuable lesson.

charge my light early.

no, silly! clearly it was the final intervals fault! i would have *just* made it to skyline if it wasn't for that last interval. never do it!

open letter to 7-eleven

2010-01-08T10:23:00.001-08:00

dear 7-eleven,

i am having a hard time figuring you out. your relationship to biking that is. as someone who rides bikes, should i consider you an friend or foe?

sure, i do realize that you supported a kinda big deal cycling team awhile back... and i do realize that sometimes your store comes in very handy... like when you are out on a long ride and bonking and really need a stale doughnut or piece of beef jerky....

but, i really have to question the slurpee.... making me believe that 7-eleven is really a biker's foe.

what am i talking about?

january 7, 2010. 9:00pm. i am biking home from the team tufunga gym, heading east on 40th st, just crossing telegraph avenue in oakland, california. there are some young men idling on the corner, all drinking slurpees. as i bike by, one boy removes the lid of this 44oz slurpee and tosses the contents of the cherry flavor all over me and my bike.

now nothing makes someone feel quite so lame as getting a slurpee thrown on them. not to mention, this then resulted in me having to: 1) clean my bike, and 2) shower -- two things i *really* hate doing. (although i do admit i did have a few tastes of slurpee off my top tube on the way home, and that was quite yummy)

so why am i blaming you, 7-eleven, for their behavior, and not their juvenile delinquent selves...or the cheap-ass weed they were probably on that caused them to buy the slurpee in the first place?

that point is clear in my mind, 7-eleven.

c'mon -- 44oz of slurpee? why do you make a 44-oz cup? it's like 2 bucks for that much slurpee. and you know people won't be able to drink it all. thus, bad things are likely to happen with that extra slurpee... and moreover, let's be honest, that amount of high fructose corn syrup causes crack-like behaviors in individuals. at some point, throwing slurpee remnants at passer-byers does become the logical course of action.

so, 7-eleven. what's the deal? 44 oz cups are only created for trouble. and of course you buy that size and not the 12 oz size because it is only like 55cents more.

as compensation for my emotional scarring, i would very much like a life-time free slurpee card, usable at any 7-eleven establishment worldwide. thank you for this consideration.

with warm regards,

beth

hair cutting gone wrong...again

2009-12-20T23:43:00.000-08:00

so last year at christmas i went home with ratty hair. i also had a pretty rockin' acne breakout, so you could have easily mistaken my 2008 christmas pictures with the fam, from ones when i was sixteen.

so i made two promises to myself. one, i was going to clear up my acne. that was my new years resolution. i think it was the only resolution i have ever followed. my friend mai-stella's friend, dan kerns, started some acne company-- acne.org where he has the three step REGIMEN. so i started it and followed it religiously. i love dan kerns. you can watch his cute little videos about how to wash your face and stuff. anyway, it worked! my skin was looking like a non-adolecent until this fall time, where i took a little backtrack because of some stupid i.u.d. (hi mom!) my second promise was to get my hair cut before i go home, so i don't look like a ragamuffin. which (hair) is the topic of this post, not my acne.

so i go to the hair dresser and say: "i want my hair length between my SHOULDERS and my CHIN, so i can put it in a PONYTAIL. and, yeah, you can make it look cute with some layers if you like." i am not too picky. i feel like we had an understanding. she pointed to the length of my hair. then, you know how it goes. she asks me when the last time i got my hair cut was, and i say: in july i cut it myself. (i left off the part about how i just chopped my pigtails off, so it was all crooked...) and instead said: "i cut my hair about twice a year."

so maybe she took that small talk as liberty to cut a little more than our initial agreement. she started in the back and i could tell something was going terribly wrong. but i felt funny interrupting her so i just sat silently knowing it was going to be bad.

and it was.

i mean, it didn't look that bad. kind of bowl cuttish. ya know, CHEEK BONE length. i was definitely going to rocking the bike helmet mullet, i could tell. and i knew i'd look dumb for the xmas pictures again. i guess the only good thing that i can say about it, is that it was going to require the use of hair gel. and there was a period of my life, while i was residing in the eastern bloc, that i got a little bit into hair gel. like re-apply a few times a day, into hair gel. like, crunchy hair, into hair gel. and i could dig that again.

but, the hair cut is totally impractical. no ponytail. i can't even two little ponytails. so come monday, i am going to put my helmet on, bike to work, and be stuck with sweaty, matted down, weirdly cut helmet hair at work all day. with things flying up all over. and i won't even be able to put it in a ponytail to hide my sweaty yucky hair. and i don't really know how going to the gym is going to work, cause i can't put it back, and the hair just flops around in my eyeballs and is going to be a pain in the ass jumping rope. i think i am going to need to get a sweat band or something, but that won't help that flop in the back, so maybe a swim cap is a better idea.

despite all this, i was trying to be optimistic about the hair cut. until i woke up this morning. "this hairdo will be easy, you won't have to do anything to it" hair dresser lady says. bullshit. i should have rolled out of bed and went right back to the hair place in my pjs and ask her what does she mean by "not do anything."

so i did what any logical person would do.

i got scissors out of my bottom drawer and took matters into my hands.

i tried to "thin it out" by doing that flutter cut you see people do. i think i got the hang of it eventually, but cut some chunks in my hair a few times by accident. oh well. i thinned out a lot of hair. the trash can was pretty full. then my hand got tired, so i stopped. except i only cut the left side, so now i have two different haircuts on each side of my head.

it's super post-modern.

so, in conclusion, i decided i am just going to wear my helmet all the time. my boyfriend just got me a new helmet. except i am not wearing it-- except when he is around-- because i don't want to ruin the new one. so i am just going to wear my old helmet all the time. you never know what is going to happen in a cubicle. the building hasn't been seismic retrofitted yet, so i can just pull that card for the next few months until my hair gets to be ponytail length again.

talk about a sucker punch

2009-12-17T14:21:00.000-08:00

i'm tired just thinking about that!

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/uci-announces-beefed-up-olympic-omnium-format

and was i right or was i right about the miss 'n out?!

"It used to be that computer viruses attacked only your hard drive. Now they attack your dignity"

2009-12-13T20:14:00.000-08:00

that quote, my friends was in today's front page article of the new york times.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/14/technology/internet/14virus.html?hp

Malicious programs are rampaging through Web sites like Facebook and Twitter, spreading themselves by taking over people’s accounts and sending out messages to all of their friends and followers. The result is that people are inadvertently telling their co-workers and loved ones how to raise their I.Q.’s or make money instantly, or urging them to watch an awesome new video in which they star.
“I wonder what people are thinking of me right now?” said Matt Marquess, an employee at a public relations firm in San Francisco whose Twitter account was recently hijacked, showering his followers with messages that appeared to offer a $500 gift card to Victoria’s Secret.

really? is this the crappy example that the new york times finds?

i can do much better.

so my facebook account got hacked last week and i was sending people chats about this awesome new diet program i am on.

but, the real embarssing one was this one:

"75% of girls are bisexual. are you into 23yr old girls into cumming?"

apparently that is what i was chatting with folks about on facebook. only two people told me about this.

my friend andy from minnesota who just got married. in fact him and his wife were staying at my place when they got engaged this spring. talk about embarrassing, when you get a chat that says something: "so you sent me kind of a weird message the other day..."
or how about that i also sent this to adam duvendeck, ya know like the olympian. so i never actually really had a conversation with him...other than saying hi in passing. but he was nice enough to respond-- not cause he is into 23 yr old girls cumming-- but because he told me he wanted to tell me i was hacked.

now, after reading the nytimes article, i realized i didn't take the appropriate action. nytimes instructs:

After discovering their accounts have been seized, victims typically renounce the unauthorized messages publicly, apologizing for inadvertently bombarding their friends. These messages — one might call them Tweets of shame — convey a distinct mix of guilt, regret and embarrassment.

yeah, i didn't do this. i mean, i just thought i'd let it slide. who knows, maybe my facebook account is still sending out these chats. guilt, regret, embarassment? well, i just kind of thought it was funny.

anyway, point of this is not about my hacking... but come on new york times! is this best example you can dig up for your article "embarrassing" hacking about about telling your friends how to up their iq ... or getting a $500 coupon for victoria secret...? i could have provided a much more interesting antecdote.

but may it is that your editor just won't let you write 'cumming' in news print.

thankfully, i can write whatever i want on my blog. (hi mom!)

stolen idea

2009-12-11T10:58:00.000-08:00

(citation: brian peterson)

so as many trackies have heard, the pursuit and points race have been eliminated from the olympics. i will save the political analysis of such a decision, because my blog is not a source of useful information, nor a statement on cycling politics. snore. let's just say i think it is dumb.

upon the announcement yesterday, the olympics will instead hold the international omnium, or kind of like the pentathlon of cycling. five events, one day. excellent for people who succeed in mediocrity. like me. that is why i like the event. but, i also like the miss 'n out, and don't think that should have an olympic event. anyway, statement came out yesterday that they are thinking of making the five event omnium into a six event omnium.

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/uci-wants-sixth-event-in-olympics-omnium

now, anyone who has done the event, knows that that is pretty much a bitch slap to both the athletes and the promoter. poor promoters-- a six hour event suddenly turned larger. and poor athletes-- that is just cruel.

but this begs the question of what is the sixth event?

article says that they are adding a sixth to make it more 'endurance friendly'. omnium already has a points race, scratch race, and a pursuit-- so what would the sixth event be?

let's do some brainstorming. please pitch in the comment section.

keirin- the omnium is rich on time trials-- having three. but only has two mass start races. it makes sense to add another mass start race, and of the "championship" events that the omnium /doesn't/ have, this seems to be the only one... minum match sprints, although that seems quite unlikely, given the already long nature of the day. however, because there is criticism that the omnium is already to sprinter focused with a 200m, kilo/500m, and scratch race-- this is pretty unlikely.
another scratch or points race-- possible. but i think this would be pretty dumb to have the same event twice. it'd be like making decathletes do the mile twice.

thus, the events must be some more crowd pleaser track events.

miss 'n out- of course this would be sweet. the loser would get an extra long rest for the next event and the winner would get no rest, but low points. it adds another element of strategy to the game.
chariot race- jenny oh suggested this one & peterson commented whether or not you could bring your own beefy holder.
tempo race or snowball- this would be a blast for all the competitors and a sure way to put the extra nail in the coffin
unknown distance- it is my opinion that the 500m/kilo should be moved to the second to last race, and the unknown distance go last. that way, if it is close, the results of the olympic champion could depend entire on luck. what is more fair than that? me, i am pretty confident i'd become olympic champion by attacking just at the right moment, come around turn 4 to hear the bell ring and ride in solo for a first.

other thoughts?

unum unum unum

2009-12-10T10:50:00.000-08:00

so yesterday at work i had this mandatory 15 minute appointment, in which i had to meet with this "unum" rep. the previous week we had our employee benefits review, where we got told we are loosing some "floating holidays" and that our kaiser premiums are increasing (and some good news too, i won't be a total debbie downer). anyway, we also got told we were being offered to contribute to some life insurance policy, and we all had to meet with this "unum" rep, whether or not we wanted the life insurance.

if bethbikes dies by drowning in a pool of boiling snot -- which has always been my answer of the worst way to die, by the way -- i am sure people will be sad, but not because i am providing any monetary benefit to anyone. as my roommates can attest, i am kind of a suck-- as i eat their food sometimes. or, a lot of the time. so instead of signing up for a life insurance and giving them $20,000 upon my drowning in snot, i have opted to leave them in typical bethbikes style- high and dry with a bunch of clutter in my room, just toss my body in the bay, sans life insurance policy.

so we had to meet with this "unum" rep-- which is actually pretty fun to write and for some reason reminds me of "nuun"-- which i have never had this product, but i have 2 water bottles from them. one i got at FSA in seattle, which they let me steal when it started to rain, and they were desperately trying to get rid of stuff. i was stoked, cause i had few water bottles, and they were all moldy and nasty. the second nuun waterbottle i stole from jack linquist from LA. we were there for a race and i brought my cool nuun water bottle, and i guess it had rolled under a bench. when he tried to take "his" nuun bottle, i argued with him and said it was mine. and that i really need that water bottle. like real bad. and he let me take it. then i found mine, and now i have two. and jack has none. but he does have a piston on his calf, and i don't. so let's call it even.

anyway, we had to meet with unum rep-- to tell him we didn't want the life insurance policy. i sat down in the little room and the dude looked AWESOME. i liked him right away. he was a big guy in a suit. like almost a zoot suit. and had a purple hanky tucked in his pocket. he was no bullshit and told me right off the bat: "i don't care if you sign up, because i don't get paid on commission- so don't feel bad saying no. i'll just tell you what we offer."

he went through the life insurance policy and i did not not get it. then he said he was supposed to tell us about another benefit, and that no one in the office had signed up for it. i met with him at 5:30pm, and was the last for the day. it was called "accident coverage". he mentioned it thinking i'd just say no, and i'd sign a paper and he could go home. but i got excited and quickly said: "I GET IN TONS OF ACCIDENTS! TELL ME MORE!"

so he went on, giving me the "life can take a tumble" brochure, that detailed out the benefits you get when you have an accident. i questioned him, "but i have health insurance, why do i need this?" and he told me that the money is paid directly to me. that i can use it for out-of-pocket expenses, or to fix my bike, or to go out to dinner. so you send in your claim, and they send you a check directly. but he told me it doesn't cover suicide attempts... or violent crimes if i am the initiator of the violent crime-- like if i decide to rob someone on the street and end up shooting myself. well, he wasn't too sure on that example, but i told him i am very cautious about my safety when i mug people.

i started looking at the policy and was getting kind of ... well, excited.

$150 for going to the ER
$100 for a concussion
$25-400 for a laceration
and--
$750 if you are admitted to the hospital.

shit, i barely had any accidents this year, and I could have collected well over $400 this year.

he told me the cost of purchasing this accident insurance, and it was $6 a pay period, or about $120 for the year. TOTALLY WORTH IT.

i can bet on a few things in life, but i think chances are pretty good i'll go to the ER. this is like really good gambling odds. like being the dealer. but my odds are even better than chance, cause i am a bad bike handler. is it wrong i am kind of hoping for a hospital admission, cause i could get like a grand out of that deal? yeah, it is. but you shouldn't lie about your feelings. so, don't feel bad if i eat pavement this year. it was probably on purpose cause i was trying to fund my disc wheel or something like that.

i love mail!

2009-10-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

I think I started blogging about 2.5 to 3 years ago. The first few posts were actually back logged, cause I stupidly thought some things were very important to document.

Up until last December, I had no email linked to my blog, so people had no way of contacting me…except through the comments! (which I love- so thanks for commenting, it really makes it all worthwhile) The lack of email was intentional-- I was afraid of internet crazies, being new to blogging and online personas.

However, sometime last year, I figured I better get the bethbikes@gmail.com so someone else didn’t co-opt my really creative internet persona. Some physical therapist in upstate new york had already taken the URL www.bethbikes.com. Whatever-- I wasn’t going to pay for a hosting address anyway, as, in my humble opinion, the quality of blog writing typically goes down when someone moves from blogspot to wordpress. (even though the pictures are usually a lot prettier, if that is your thing.) Anyway, point is, in December I intelligently secured the email address and would occasionally get an email. Like the one from Lionel, the French body builder included with an awesome picture.

But, let’s be honest. I only check the email address about once every month. And 99% of the emails are about increasing my penis size or doing electronic money transfers to Uganda.

Actually, in 6 months, I’ve only gotten 26 emails. And 7 of those were from people I actually knew, who must not have had my real email address.

The other day I checked my beth bikes email and thought I’d share a few.

First is from Simon, a new East Bay blogger. Welcome to blogging! Some say bike blogging is dead, but goonies never say die. I am re-invigorated on blogging after a summer-off hiatus. It is exponentially more fun than facebook, I promise!

Hey there, Beth Bikes
I've been working on a little bike blog out here in the East Bay, and after many sad reports saying I have zero viewers. (trunc.)

He just wants some readers, so please check him out. He seems like a nice guy because of his very polite and friendly email. Mostly though, I’d like you to check out his saddle sore post. It RULES and is quite helpful! Everyone knows I love this topic and have written some great posts on this. Here is an old favorite.

Simon sent this email on October 19^th. It was quite serendipitous timing had I checked my email regularly. So about on Tuesday October 20^th, my saddle sore had reached a point of extraordinary discomfort. I would give details about where it was, but let me just say I think I would have been a great picture display for a health class photo. Definitely the worst one I have ever had. I had my pap appointment on Wednesday and figured the gyn would get her panties all tied in a knot by the sore. But, I don’t even think she saw it. How that is possible, I don't know, cause it was *right there*. I guess sometimes they just stick you in those stirrups and look inside, making sure my uterus isn't titled or something, without noticing the elephant in the room. I wasn’t going to point it out to her, that's for sure. Anyway, Wednesday was a very uncomfortable day for me. It wasn’t so much hurting when I moved, but pretty much a mild pain all the time. Holy Jesus. But something great happened at work on Thursday and I think the bloody thing just popped, and now it is a pretty manageable saddle sore. Anyway, had I read Simon's extraordinarily useful post about lancing (see link above!), I most definitely would have taken some matters into my own hands. So this baby is getting bookmarked.Word.

Other mail? Well, like I said, I don't get much. There are the random quad emails. Mostly, probably, from people who google images ‘biggest quads.’

“I like your quads” – this is all that was said. Thank you for the compliment.
Or the one from Richard that said: “Huge fan! Are you still training your quads? Can I have a more recent pic showing them off?” – uhhh, yes I am still training them, no you can't have a picture.
Or all (sic: two) the nice people that linked me that BBC scientific article demonstrating that people with big quads over 60cm in girth are less likely to have diabetes!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8236384.stm yay for big quads!

Lastly, there was the very heartfelt email from a woman who got bad road rash on her face and found my blog and wanted a recent picture of me to see my scars. I have kinda an ugly face sometimes, but I don’t think I have any scars, minus a droopy right lip, but I think that is mostly because a stitch was left inside because the guy who took them out was kind of senile. But we had a nice email exchange, nevertheless, about wound care, face scaring, and a general life peptalk. The internet is weird, huh?

I also occasionally get other subliminal messages… like refrigerator magnets that spell out “beth bikes sucks” when i took my blogging vacation…

some people can never be pleased. i started blogging again and what do i hear: your blog post was pretty long, you cant go into hiding for ever and then just give us readers the monster serving and expect us to take it.......our tolerance is down! whatever stern. you better drive me to the track tomorrow.

kövér calves

2009-10-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

so if it wasn't bad enough that i can't find jeans to fit my massive quads -- R.I.P. keirin cut dream -- apparently it is not only my quads that are too big.

a few weeks ago rubi posted some ORANGE & yellow (my two favorite colors) argyle knee socks on my facebook wall, with a note saying: "you need these." need is perhaps a strong word, but i clicked on the ebay link and they were only 99 cents with no shipping charges, so i figured i would bid.

....now let me first say, that i have never really had much luck on ebay. being the closeted competitive type, i don't think anonymous auctioning is really a good thing for me. moreover, i kind of have maybe had a tendency to "bid" on multiples of the same thing, thinking-- oh, that won't win...and then having to buy both them. ....like the time i bought two broken digital cameras. ....or the time i bought two old saddles that hurt my ass more than the old saddle from 1972 than fred gave me. well, i guess that only happened twice. but, those were my first (and only) two experiences on ebay and i decided that ebay and i weren't a good fit, and i laid off it.

that is, until rubi told me to buy these socks. yellow and orange. and knee high. those of you not from hellyer park velodrome might wonder why on earth someone would want knee high argyle socks. well, that reason would be the one the only maurice monge. known affectionately as mo-mo. maurice likes to race in these, and probably why his girlfriend rubi was looking through argyle knee socks on the internet. when she ran across these obnoxious ones, she thought of me.

naturally.

so i bid on the socks. i put a maximum bid of $2.37, but i won them at 99 cents. i also saw some other socks the same seller had, and bought some low-cut argyle socks, also bid $2.37, and won those at $1.27, as someone else had bid, but I guess $1.26 was too much for her for socks.

a few days later I got the socks in the mail. the low-cut ones were very cute, and the knee highs were just as hideous as the pattern in the picture indicates. i immediately tried them on and couldn't get them over my gigantic ..... calves?

are we kidding here?

it's not just my quads? it's also my calves?!? i mean, they were socks. so they stretched. so i *could* get them on. but they kinda squeezed and there was a big bulge above the cuff that turned bright red, as i was getting circulation cut off to my lower leg.

*awesome*

i, however, cannot blame biking for this one. i blame freshman through senior year in high school where i got a little bit obsessed doing that stupid calf raise machine in the gym after track practice.

i would put a picture of me in the socks here, but both digital cameras "i won!" are broke.

i'd like to say this is a new problem. but it's not.

perhaps the most traumatic story about my calves dates back age twenty. i was in college and "studying a broad" for a semester in budapest. we took a week long class trip to transylvania. not the dracula part... but the "greater hungary" part of romania, cause there is a political party focused on reclaiming romanian land from pre-world war i (cause it all used to be hungary during the austria-hungarian empire). but, i digress. we spent our time in mostly one village and looked at a bunch of churches and tromped around the village killing chickens and chatting with romanian motorhead fans and watching 20 person wine harvesting parades and getting drunk off palinka and wine, but mostly palinka.

so one evening before the wine festival dance we went to kati neni's tiszta szoba. this translates to something like "fancy room" or is basically where a family keeps all their heirlooms and nice decorative things that have been passed down through the ages -- all the dowry stuffs. kati neni had some costumes...errrrrr, traditional decorative clothing, that she wanted us americans to try on. now there were only about 12 of us in that program- cause who really decides to study abroad in hungary anyway. i think we were 6 & 6 boys and girls and somehow i was the lucky girl who got volunteered for this to try on the girl outfit.

i didn't want to. trust me.

erzabeth made me. she was our coordinator. i tried to get krisztina or stephanie to do it, but i always give off the "little joiner" attitude so i won! of course.

so kati neni started putting on all these layers and layer and layers of clothes on me...petticoats and more petticoats. and there was a corset in the back and the thing was too small and i thought i was going to die. it was heavy. it was hot. it was tight! i was kinda short of breath. so, yeah, i definitely gained some weight over there on my dumpling, sour cream, and beer diet- but these outfits are meant for 13 year olds!

so although it was all a bit uncomfortable, everything fit well enough. until the boots. they wouldn't go over my calves. not even close. and then kati neni started making fun of me. "kövér kövér.... kislány kövér" (fat, fat, fat girl). she went on and on, but my hungarian was spotty at best. i'm sure other people who were better at the language understood her jeers, but i did not, and it was probably for the best.

now, the connotation of kövér in hungarian isn't really so nice. plump, portly, corpulent. ...and i guess it was a bit of a soft spot, cause i had gained a lot of weight because of the sour cream, dumpling, and beer diet. and also, i cracked my knee cap running the 2nd week there and couldn't run or really do anything physical and was waiting to have surgery.

but, nevertheless, i can definitely take people making fun of me. but it was a bit different having a little old hungarian lady making fun of me in front of all of my classmates...when i was dressed like a fool...then, all of them starting to make fun of me. add that to the above paragraph, and i wasn't really laughing with them on the inside.

too make matters worse, she pulled out the men's boots. but i don't really think they were men's boots. i think they were teenage boys boots. they didn't fit either.

and everyone laughed louder and louder. kövér kövér kövér kövér kövér

and i couldn't really breath and was really hot and all those beads were actually kind of heavy and i really wanted to start crying and curl up in the fetal position and feel sorry for my kövér fat self who got fat on dumplings and sour cream, but couldn't really cause crying over being kövér would not only be super pathetic, but also really rude, cause kati neni was very nice for having us in her house and showing us her tiszta szoba and letting us try on her clothes. i knew that. i just didn't want to be the one trying them on.

so kati neni got out another pair of men's boots and i put those on, and they fit my calves, but not my feet cause i have fairly small feet. size 7. or 38 biking shoes.

they let me take off my clothes and we went to the wine festival, which felt like a junior high dance. except all the boys got to wear jeans and motorhead tshirts and the girls had to wear kati neni type dresses. then my boy space friends and i ducked out and went to the one bar in town. and they knew i felt bad so bought me too much palinka. aand i drunk away my kövérness on cheap distilled pear liquor that cost 20 cents a shot and smoked cigarettes and drank more palinka. and then i blacked out and apparently puked all over kati neni's chicken coup at 3am or something. which demonstrates i am a good, respectful american tourist.

here is me and kati neni

so yesterday i went on a long bike ride and was really lazy when i came home and started for 3 minutes to go through my pile of papers and came across a business card (from the argyle sock guy) and somehow ended up on ebay again (bad idea!) looking at all his socks.

i mean, it was a *good* deal.

for real here, i don't really understand what makes "athletic socks" athletic socks. biking socks, biking socks. running socks, running socks. in my humble opinion it is all a bunch of malarky about "breathable" and "elastic form fitting" so someone can go and charge $4, $5, $6/pair for some sweatshop labor. my socks were probably sweatshop labor too, but i take some solace knowing that they were only marked up 100%, as opposed to 400%, 500%, or 600%.

so, in my post-ride, lazy state, i went on ebay--which i swore off given my stupidity with it in the past--i started looking at socks. oh those are nice for work. those are nice for biking. martini glasses & olives? my sister-in-love will love these for christmas. lemons? maybe that will give my roommate a hint that she should make her lemon pound cake more often. jesus saves socks? my mom will love those!

so i bid on....uhhhhhh..... 22 pairs of socks.

really, i don't blame ebay so much as mozilla firefox for creating web browsers that let you open up 20 plus tabs in one browser, which creates problems for me in multiple areas of professional and personal life, because you can research endlessly without actually reading anything, with minimal clutter on your computer screen.

my decision making process for maximum bidding was really high tech. $1.47 if i kinda liked them. $1.87 if i really liked them. and $1.07 if i could take them or leave them. i figured i'd win 7 or 8 pairs.

...or 20...

really?! i WON them all but 2?!

and so we learn again.

i got most them all for 99cents. and so somehow i just spent $21.23 on--- twenty friggin' pairs of socks.

at least i got a headstart on christmas. so, MOM IF YOU ARE READING: DON'T GET ME SOCKS FOR CHRISTMAS! underwear, okay i suppose, but socks: no.

so, if any of you are looking for socks, i highly suggest the dean clark store in san francisco. he ships free on ebay. has a 99.9% customer satisfaction rate. and you will probably be able to get any sock you want for less than a dollar, shipping included. we're talking women's low cut socks, women's low cut argyles, terry cloth socks, and if you like to pretend you are in jr. high school again, toe socks.

as for the knee high socks you might want to lay off unless you have calves like kati neni. i mean, i guess you will only waste 99 cents, but if they don't fit, we don't have 30 cents shots and your neighbors might care a little bit more than the chickens did.

oopsies!

2009-10-12T08:59:00.001-07:00

so the following conversation kind of makes you feel stupid...

me: well, i kinda got hit by a car on tuesday.
them: oh no, are you okay? what happened?
me: well, actually, i kind of hit the car.
them: oh... [with the dumbass look on them]

so maybe the car was backing out of a driveway...
or maybe the car was turning into a driveway...
or maybe the car was just sitting half in the driveway and the shoulder for quite awhile, and i neglected to notice the BIG RED TRUCK right in front of my face...

either way, i did not notice it and t-boned that baby.

so, yeah, the dumbass looks are totally justified in my opinion.

this experience taught me a couple of do nots, both as a motorist and biker.

DO NOT- for motorist:
-look at the dent in your car that bike made, when girl is crying hysterically on sidewalk.
-continue to tell the girl she is "okay" when she is crying hysterically and cannot talk.

DO NOT- for biker:
-change a flat tire and then break your CO2 cartridge, and then get the bright idea to still bike 5 more miles to work on a wobbly wheel, tire with 10psi, all whilst being uber-safe because you are still crying hysterically biking in four plus lanes of busy traffic.
-neglect to eat A LOT of food before going to the emergency room, because they will inevitably keep you there for 7 plus hours and not let you eat or drink, and then lot let you eat upon discharge because they might want you back the next day.

but you know what i did learn from the whole experience:
DO go to the ER with your single female roommate (not with a male), as i think it results not only in better care, but also i've determined the kaiser oakland ER is definitely the hotspot to pick up cute, sensitive medical professionals: dr boddle, dr davis, cute curly haired resident, dr amin, dr macy, sam the cute radiologist technician, that other cute radiologist technican, that other cute guy who took a little too much blood and had trouble finding my vein. jesus christ. maybe it was because i was feeling helpless or hit my head or something...but why aren't there more craigslist missed connections from the ER!?!?

fucking HIPAA.

[note to those concerned: no worries, i am okay. nothing wrong with me at all! ride on, baby.]

season's done-- tour de french fry

2009-10-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

yes, i realize it perhaps might be slightly ironic that i decide to resume my blog after i missed writing about half my season... ya know:

-the glories of the american velodrome challenge (slash, i crashed)
-fun times at the alpenrose velodrome challenge (slash my niece who did the kiddie kilo was faster than me)
-my stella
r performance at the FSA grand prix mis
s 'n out (slash, the real highlight of that week was how i attend a bbq with jennie reed)
-getting my ass kicked at the ADT qualifi
er race (slash, how i stayed in a REALITY TV SHOW HOUSE!)
-getting heat stroke at state's (slas
h, that sucks)
-and perhaps some other hellyer fun times (slash, nope, no fun to be had at hellyer)

wow, i really missed out on some good blog posts. but i can't look back too much. last week was nationals. i guess it went pretty well. blah blah blah. i am kind of bored with talking about it. but, in case anyone is curious, i measured cristin walker's quads and she clocks in

at 61.75cm. whoa mama.....

billington and i had talked about our drive home from LA extensively over the week: we were going to do a taste test of fast food establishment french fries. a "tour de french f

ries" if you will. don't judge us. it was glorious.

*stop 1* -- carl's j

we were excited about the tour, but perhaps went off the gate a little fast. we ordered two types of fries at carl's jr. cause, well, they had two kinds on the menu. and we had to figure out which was the best. first we had the crisscross cut fries. we thought these would be good, but we a bit disappointed. they were a bit on the cold side. and not so crispy. overall flavor and salt was okay, but the tempature and mushy factor did not bode so well. i mean, we picked up some cream

y ranch sauce, which of course made it slide down okay, but they weren't like the chick fillet waffle fries or anything.

next, we had the regular cut fries. now people, carl's jr regular cut fries pretty much rock! they had the skins on, the salt level was perfect, they were a bit on the thick side (in a good way) and the crisp to potato ratio was right on. i was pretty happy with this french fry and wanted to order so

me more, but billington luckily stopped me.

thanks pete.

about 5 minutes later in the car, we both felt pretty ill. fuck, that was a lot of grease. i wasn't used to it. i got a bit delirious, but thankfully had my awesome CD case on me, so i popped in "best of en vogue" (...and by "best of" i mean, the album should have only been 5 so

ngs not 15...) and i forgot about my heart burn.

about 20 minutes later we saw a sign for a burger king. now, we both wanted to stop, cause we needed to continue the tour. and burger king establishments are hard to come by. however, we couldn't do it. so we continued on. 'no, you're never gonna get it....' except about an hour later we stopped again. 'time for a break down.'

*stop 2* -- in 'n out

of course we knew we'd like these. i mean, it's in 'n out! we got one fry and they were yummy. crispy, hot, thin cut. salt level was pretty good. however, it just wasn't what we thought it'd be. we were both shocked to say it, but we liked carl's jr better. regular cut, not the criss

cross.

at this point, we didn't feel so good. well, i felt better than pete cause he was dumb enough to get a milk shake. WTF!?!!?! we passed another sign for burger king, but kept driving. it wasn't going to happen. pete perhaps wasn't so much feeling the AC/DC at this moment, so i took him back to his washington youth and popped in the pearl job. then he told me a probably fake story about eddie vedder in a allyway.

at this point, i thought 3 was good enough for a tour. like a mini weekend stage race. i didn't really care to do any more than that. but, a few hours passed, i got hungry, and pete called me weak sauce, i was getting all sentimental rocking out to power ballads, so we pu

lled over for gas and got some more fries. we saw a wendy's but both concurred that wendy's fries suck and we didn't care to include them in tour, because we already knew we hated them. every rose does has it's thorn. (and that would wendy's.)

*stop 3* -- jack 'n the box

when i normally go to jack 'n the box...which is every tuesday and thursday and friday for lunch...i get the curly fries. but we didn't think curly fries were an appropriate barometer for measuring french fry taste testing. so we got the regular cut. and blech. they were nasty. they looked yummy. with the potato skin on, thicker cut. they almost looked like carl's jr fries. but they didn't taste like it. they just tasted like grease. soggy grease. i was quite disappointed i didn't get the jalapeno poppers instead.

*stop 5* -- mccdonald's

we immediately left jack 'n the box and drove straight to the mccdonald's drive threw. i mean, we felt like shit at this point, but we couldn't do a french fry tour without mccdonalds...cause they are kind of like the gold standard of french fries.

they were so-so. i'd say better than jack 'n the box, worse than carl's jr criss cross. they were also greasy and poorly salted, like jack 'n the box. but they were crispier and hot enough. just the overall flavor was bad. they would have been fine with ketchup, but a good fry needs to be good independent of dipping sauces.

and so, we didn't see a burger king, and popped in joshua tree and rocked out to with or without you, veering onto the 580 west. next time bk, next time.

i'm famous... again

2009-07-29T17:27:00.001-07:00

what can i say, it feels great to be on the front of another poster! although, i don't think these are printed up on the big paper with poster board, like those sweet alpenrose posters.

(that's me in front- that's right bitches, i do take a pull when the cameraman is around)

i took 8 of them. the alpenrose posters, that is. i plan to put them all across my cubicle subway style. mostly, cause my face is really gross looking in that poster, and it will scare people away from desk.

those posters were stored for a long time in portland, brought up to seattle in a jam-packed car, brought down to san jose. and now are (hopefully) waiting for me in someone's bike locker. i will be very sad if i lost those posters, considering i told everyone about them-- including mccook.

and you know what mccook said to me when i tried to tell him how famous i was? that they mentioned his name on versus during the TdF coverage. whatever. posters are forever.

next up: a tale of three is cities (in installments). that's right-- beth bikes! is back, baby!

visits and visitors

2009-07-03T23:44:00.001-07:00

an avc post is in order... actually, 2 avc posts are in order, but that requires going through the oodles of pictures, and i don't have time for that.

well, that is a lie.

if there is one thing i do have, it is time. i have had a ridiculous amount of time today and this week. mostly, because i am not really riding my bike.

apparently my little bounce on the concrete during the scratch race has somehow messed me up more than i thought, considering my left knee is about 1.5-2 times the size of my right knee, despite me giving myself freezer burn with the ice pack and getting a bit too frisky compressing with the ace bandage.

trying to make an appointment at kaiser is somewhat challenging. despite trying to make an appointment for friday or monday, they tell you you have to go to the ER...and when you say: "it's not really an emergency, this happened 5 days ago" -- they coax you into going, saying: no, no. there is a minor injury clinic inside the ER...it's not really the ER. but that is a lie. there is no minor injury co-pay. there is only an ER co-pay.

i really wouldn't mind that so much, if there was actually a point in seeing the doctor. but there wasn't a point. unless you call that being scolded and patronized in the exam room. i kinda wanted to tell the doctor-- who i don't even know his name, because he never bothered to introduced himself-- 'i have several people who i could have called to say shitty things about me, and i am sure they would have only charged $50'...but of course i didn't say that because i am a big pushover.

but what did i do when he left? i cried like a baby in the exam room. then i went home and called to make an appointment with an acupuncturist. take that.

so i wake up this morning and don't really feel like getting dressed...or brushing my hair...or teeth...so i don't. and then around 9:30 my doorbell rings. so i put my hoodie on over my tank top to look decent; i hobble down the stairs, hoping that it will take too long and the visitors will leave. but they don't.

two middle age men stand at the door with the Awake! magazine.

"hello"

"excuse me, ma'am. but can i interest you in a magazine on depression?"

"uh, no thanks" and i close the door.

i realize i look like shit, but isn't that a bit presumptuous?

to be effective jehovah witnesses, those guys need to work on their delivery.

noon-time rolls around and it is time for my acupuncture appointment. i have never been to acupuncture. i am excited. this week, i remembered we have a chiropractic/acupuncture employee benefit at work, that i have been apparently paying for since i started working at my job, but have yet to use. so i decide to finally make an appointment.

i don't really know what i would expect going to acupuncture, but it definitely wasn't filling out no less than 12 pieces of paper asking my name, address, insurance #.... all with said: date: ____, _____ 19____.

in the "lobby" he said: stick out your tongue. so i did. and he looked at it for .05 seconds. then i told him i have "bursitis of the knee", and he took me to the back and stuck some needles in it after poking it and asking me where it hurt. then he stuck some more in my shoulder and hand, after asking if those hurt, which they did, cause i fell there too. then he left. and i laid there.

and laid there.

and, i laid there.

as i was laying, i was hoping the needles would hurt. i discovered if you kinda moved around a bit, they would give you that nice pleasant pain, so i'd jiggle, but then even jiggling didn't make an ache. and i felt gypped. i wanted some pain. i thought needles would give a nice mild pain sensation, but that wasn't the case. i was bored, so, i listened to some woman in the next curtain over moan in quite a fashion, which made me feel like i was getting again gypped. so instead i went to sleep, cause this was just a waste of time.

over an hour later, he came back. he took out the needles and asked me if it felt better, and i just said yes, because i didn't want to say no, and then him make me lie there another hour.the coffee shop was close by, and that sounded much more appealing. then he got some herbs in some nasty paste and slapped them on my knee and told me that this was going to reduce the swelling. and they smelled really bad, but i didn't care so much, because i haven't showered for a few days anyway. then he told me to come back on monday: "i'll call to schedule my follow-up appointment...." yep.

and then i sat with smelly herbs on my knee for the majority of today, which i definitely don't think are doing anything....but at least the guy wasn't a prick.

honestly, i am kind of regretting not taking that Awake! magazine from the Jehova's cause they don't even charge a copay.

i am on a poster!

2009-06-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

lots of course to write about the AMERICAN VELODROME CHALLENGE...

but quickly-- look-- I am on the Alpenrose poster.

see, that is me sitting 2nd wheel with the proman jersey, red bike, green helmet, and pigtails.

i've never been on a poster before. how do i get one these in print?

do you ever wonder what motivates larry nolan?

2009-06-02T23:19:00.000-07:00

we all know this face:

the open-mouthed, head-clocked to the side, pain face of larry nolan.

the question, is: do you ever wonder what motivates him? do you wonder what it is he listens to on his ipod to get into the zone? or what little song he is singing to himself when he is hammering with his mouth open?

for those of us at the points racing tuesday, i think we found out.

larry had quite an ...eclectic.... mix of music playing over the speakers. and the two that summed up larry's pump up mix were:

#1. the theme song to the lion king

that's right-- just picture the beautiful scenery in that disney classic. animals in the jungle, the panning out on the desert, and then-- boom, the music: AYYYYYYYYYYYYY KEEEBEEEEENYAHHHHHHHHHH, BADAAAA EEEEEEESSSSEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOO.. [backround: bennnnn yay....ayyy ooo] {repeat} AYYYY KEEEEBEEENYAHHHH, BADAAAAEEESEEEE(a bit higher pitched here)EMMMOOOO, [background: Bennnyaayyyy oooooo] enter: drum beats. start chant: ingeeeyammmma, ingeee ingeee anmmmma, ingeeeyammma igeee ingeee ammaaa.

of course, then the elton john chorus starts, but i like to think it is this dramatic opening act that the nolanator likes best.

#2. the electric slide

yes, i did say the electric slide. can't see the nolanator doing the boooogiie wooogie woogie down? well, to be honest, i can't quite picture it either. but he must dig it, cause he didn't even have the traditional wedding song electric slide compilation on his pump-up mix. it was definitely a cover or a toned-down, less twangy remix, or something of that nature. and when you have that much love to find an off-the-beaten path musical compilation of "the electric slide"-- you know that someone must really love him some line dancing.

well, as for the actual points races-- i was just looking to get in a good workout, which i did. i didn't really go for any sprints, except for the very last one of the last race...cause i figured, what the heck. actually, some dude was just really pissing me off during the race, and i just wanted to dust him-- so i kinda accidently got a point on the last lap.... which moved me from an "and also" in the results to actually being on the score board with one point. other than that, i followed some good attacks and made a good bridge or two, but nothing quite notable about my racing.

what was notable was my drive home. i pulled some questionable passing maneuvers, but set a personal best on the "hellyer to home" drive, clocking 42 minutes. that is bad ass. trust me.

girls rule, boys drool

2009-05-31T22:26:00.000-07:00

so what's better than getting 2nd place?

well, getting 1st place.

.....but, what's next best?

getting 2nd place to a bunch of boys.

bahaha. sure, the field was a bit smaller than normal and many of the heavy hitters weren't there to beat up on me, but all in all, it was still a pretty solid day, so that is good.

this was the last "get ready for summer" race at the track promoted by rick adams. what a blast they have been! we started off with the keirin, and my goal was to *make it* to the finals. that didn't happen. but, i rode a really good first round, which i determine because i got 3rd in my heat of 6, and was right by 2nd place guy... this put me in the rep. our rep round was with 8 people, and i let myself get pushed around a bunch, and that stunk, so i didn't make it to the final. but at least i had an okay first round......next we had the scratch race. someone was off the front for a long time, then we caught him, and then mateo made an attack with a few laps to go. he held it off for the win, just barely as sam had a very good last 2 laps. i was lucky to be in pretty good position the last couple of laps, and while i couldn't hang on sam's wheel, i did get on some davis guys wheel, who then i came around to get 3rd.....then was the miss 'n out. for some reason, i have been doing pretty good at this race recently, despite it originally being my worst race. it started off blisteringly fast, but then eased up, and i was sitting in good position, had to play the devil a couple of times, but made it thankfully to the last 3. i knew the guys who i were riding with were faster than me, so i was hoping i could take them long-- thinking they might be tired, so i jumped on the bell lap for a long lap sprint, and held them off-- so that was rad!

last up was the madison.

tim brennan was my partner for the race. i got us the awesome polka dotted jerseys for us-- and asked him what our team name was....which he replied: team beth? i said that wasn't okay, cause that is reserved for me and welliver. so i decided i'd call us: team shit-talkers, cause that is pretty much was do with tim-- threaten him and tell him how i am going to beat tim in the keirin.... although i never do, that doesn't stop me from shit-talking.

we did a couple of madison throws for practice and then were ready to rock 'n roll.

i started off the race and was okay, then i threw him in, and that was fine, then he threw me in, and i was on some wheels still, and i come around and tim is just sittin' and chillin' at the wall, and i'm like, "tim!" so that means i have to go like another lap or something....and i am totally gassed out to begin with, and everyone else is exchanging, and then i pop off the back. so when i come through the next time, tim is going super slow at the rail, and i am feeling pretty damn desperate at this time and probably displayed my most ever agro-race persona: "TIM- GO FASTER! TIIIIIIM--- COME DOWN!!!!!" and probably yelled more. this of course happened right at the start-finish line, so everyone heard me scream at the top of my lungs at him, and i could hear matt and rick make fun of me on the microphone. he thankfully didn't forget anymore exchanges. however, we were off the back at that point, so we just exchanged cleanly and had fun. before the race rick told me that i was in 2nd place for the omnium, but was very close to first, if i beat sam in the madison. however, tim and i got last place. which was okay, cause although we sucked, we at least looked good with the polka dotted jerseys. so that was my sunday race.

saturday i also raced-- goldenstate criterium. well, to be honest, the race kinda sucked. sucked in the sense that is was crazy fast and i think we were single file for most of it, so if felt more like a 40 minute motopacing session, rather than a race where anything happened. there were only 12 of us and we averaged 25mph, which is pretty crazy. marley smith is pretty much an ox on wheels and really wouldn't let anyone else take a pull, as she just hammered away at the front. and she still won every preme and took the win! wow, it was so amazing! i was in good position into the last turn, on the inside, but had to tap my brakes cause i started to get pinched by someone. and then i guess i was in some stupid big gear, and everything felt slow-mo after i tapped by brakes, being in that stupid big gear, so i pretty much sucked and got 4th. more notable, though, was i got home and was so incredibly wiped-- i felt like such a big piece of shit, so i took a nap, and woke up feeling like more shit (if that was possible), and then i slept 10 hours last night. that crit really took it out of me, but i felt great this morning and happily could put in a good track race with the boys (and cece and ashley!) - so i am glad saturday didn't totally cook me, like i thought it did.

cheated

2009-05-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

do you ever feel cheated?

...like when you take the orange juice out of the refrigerator and all that pours out is a measly half inch of crappy pulp.

...or like when you find out your post-college boyfriend is cheating on you with a freshman.

...or like when you carry the trash down to the garage, only to find that your trash can is full from your neighbor and you have get your hands all nasty questionably squeezing things in.

i could go on-- obviously.

but you know what i feel cheated about this week? my quads. i measured and they are at a pathetic 59cm. what gives?

do you know what i've been doing to my quads lately? i have been squatting massing amounts of weights, i have been deadlifting like 165 pounds, i've been jumping up on boxes 38 inches high. all this, and my quads are 59cm?!

totally bogus.

hats and far west championship

2009-05-27T23:09:00.000-07:00

we all rolled into socal with one goal in mind: hellyer clean up. i think between burger continental and the far west championships, we accomplished that.

pre-game

i knew it was going to be an incredibly fun trip-- i mean, with the one, two punch of studley and maurice-- how couldn't it be?

hanan and ben arrived at my house friday morning, setting the tone for an amazing road trip, outfitted in some pretty absurd hats. hanan was so kind as to bring a whole bag of hat selections. i was given the wwi-type hat, affixed with ear flaps. we loaded the car and headed out on our way. the first gas-fill up stop was pretty awesome. not only did we make friends with someone else who had an incredible hat, but hanan and i also took in the amazing central valley scenery.

please observe awesome hat.

the rest of the car ride was extremely eventful, as we spent approximately 4 hours playing "shoot, fuck, or marry". yes, there were some amazing combination that led to thought provoking conversations. those, however, will be left within the pickup.

after arriving at steph's house, we found an amazing restaurant called burger continental. from the outside, you'd think it was just a burger place...but you walk in and you see the most amazing middle eastern salad bar, which comes with every huge proportioned meal. there wsa also a band that rocked the three level keyboard. and just when we didn't think it could get any better, the belly dancer came out! i am still in awe of how much food i ate that night. it was heroic. my rationale? stock piling for the next day.

the race:

let me just say-- the far west championship was awesome! alfred nash is not only a great organizer, but sweet announcer. we were super bummed by the crappy turnout. i don't know why more people wouldn't go to the race-- it ruled! our field size was only five, and then men's was 7 or 8. but those small fields didn't stop us from racing hard. it was an international omnium, which meant the events were a 200, scratch, 2k, points, 500-- and you tried to accumulate the least amount of points.

our field was comprised of hanan, me, jen reither - a woman who races with the nrc vanderkitten team, and two sprinter women, cj and shane who i met before. it was going to be some good racing.

i was pleasantly surprised by my 200m-13.37, cause it was a new track and i have been sprinting really slow recently. this time got me first.

hanan and i pretty much worked it over in the mass start events. in the scratch race, i attacked early and then hanan countered and stayed out there forever, as i was blocking for her. when we did catch, it was about 3-4 to go, and i countered and launched a big attack, staying away to the finish. at this point, i was the leader with two first places.

however, i was pretty nervous about the pursuit-- cause, i have no clue how to do these things. i only had done one other 2k (at last years international omnium) and have never practiced my pacing. i was the only one without aero bars for this event. the guy with pistols tatooed on his calves let me borrow his aero helmet. thanks! i just focused on not going out to hard and keeping it steady, then tried to pick it up the last three laps. it really helped having ben, maurice, hanan, and nole yell at me in all the turns. my time was a 2:51, which i don't really know how that is, but it got me 2nd in the pursuit. jen came in first with a 2:50. after i saw her time, i was super happy, cause she looked really fast when i was watching her! and i know she is legit, after i saw her bridge up to the break at the ToC crit this year.

before the points race, hanan was not the happiest camper and almost threw in the towel, as she was having some mechanical issues. she couldn't get her aero bars off her bike because of some compression nut problem, and all of our boys were racing their points race. no fear, we got the announcer to solicit some help, and we fixed hanan's bars. there was no way i was going let her punk out on racing when our field size was so pathetic. i was in pretty good shape to win the omnium at that point (with two firsts and a second), unless something crazy happened, so figured i'd try to move hanan up in her placings. points racing is pretty fun, when you are trying to get other people points. hanan, jen, and i got away from the field pretty early on. i spent the whole race pretty much riding jen up and down the track, so hanan could get a clean attack and get away for the sprint laps. it was pretty fun, but i don't think i made a friend in the process. hanan won that race and i got second, surprisingly considering i wasn't even paying attention to my points.

my 500m was so-so...my start was not very good, and i felt pretty sluggish sprinting, but still had a 40.8, which i can't complain about after that long day. that was okay for 2nd in that event. so i got first overall, which was really cool-- cause i've had a plauge of second places this year!

the boys did equally as well-- (except for their 200m). ben won the omnium, with maurice in 3rd and nole in 4th. the crazy, thing, though, was how close it was. had nole gotten a couple places higher in an event, he would have been first. jimmy watkins got second place. he pretty much owned them in the 200m and the match sprints the boys decided to join. that was kind of cool to watch. nole and jimmy lapped the field in the scratch race. then in the points race, nole cleaned up and won it. ben and maurice got lots of 2nd and 3rds throughout the day to get them on the podium, while jimmy won three events and got near last in the 2k and points race. the guys' kilo times were all within hundreths of a second from each other. all in all, definitely a great day for hellyer!

here are our awesome podium shots. note the hats.

jen reither had a pretty awesome skirt. and i didn't even have to tell her it was "crazy hat" podium picture. she definitely gets awesome points in my book.

and there isn't much to say about this picture except gawk at maurice's hands.

the after party

so after we totally cleaned up at the omnium, we did what we had to do. go eat at burger continental. it was equally as awesome. maurice danced and showed up the belly dancer, which was pretty awesome. not to mention our totally rockin' waitress who told us a bar to go to.

i won't give too many details of the after party - because i can't really remember them - but i would just like to put in a plug for skins. even after a day of hard racing, if you go out to party-- you should definitely rock the skins under the skirt. in the dark of a bar, it kinda looks like that skirt and leggings look. i believe the skins allowed me to do crazy-ass dance moves, that otherwise would have been impossible. i know because hanan kept telling me: "wow! how do you move so fast!?!" i would like to say it is because of evenings at thursday's bar & lounge in akron, ohio. i may be the worst dancer in the world, but i do have mad heart. i even challenged some guys to a pushup contest on the dance floor, but of course, skins had nothing to do with that. the only downside of skins-- which they really should work on their technology-- is i had a crazy amount of drunken bruises the next day. oops.

conclusion to a weekend of champions

we went to pie & burger for breakfast, where maurice had the whole restaurant laughing in the elegant way he excused himself from the table to go to the bathroom. (read: did the splits over nole's head). then we began the journey home. for some dumbass reason, i had pre-reged for the memorial day crit on monday, and my motivation to do a stupid crit after such a fun weekend was pretty nominal. what can i say about memorial day crit? it was an excellent recovery ride.

and that is the conclusion to the weekend of the far west championship. many thanks to my excellent travel companions!

press release

2009-05-21T16:54:00.000-07:00

you may have seen this:

PROMAN Sends Hanan Alves Hyde and Christen King to Encino Far West Championships

Hanan Alves Hyde, winner of the 2008 Martinez Criterium and the 2007 Western Collegiate Championship Criterium, and Christen King, 2007 Scratch Race National Track Champion, have been named by the The PROMAN Women's Cycling Team as participants in the John Fitzpatrick and Dave Staub Memorial Far West Championships, to be held May 23rd & 24th at the Encino Velodrome.

Details about the John Fitzpatrick and Dave Staub Memorial Far West Championships are available at http://EncinoVelodrome.Org/FarWest

unfortunately, they edited out the next paragraphs. posting here for all those disgruntled by the popular press.....

Accompanying Alves-Hyde will be her roommate Ben Stern, driver of the yellow bus and owner of the only aero-helmet. This helmet will be shared by five people for three time trials each over the course of the weekend. (Yes, that is fifteen races in that hat, my friends) Accompanying Alves-Hyde and Stern in the yellow bus, will be Beth Newell. Alves-Hyde and Newell will be leg wrestling on Friday morning to determine who will be sitting bitch the entire six hours down to LA. Newell is also known for her world-famous quads and for beating Nole Studley during his first race at Hellyer velodrome back in July 2007. Studley will also be joining this crew and looks to clean up during the mass start races with his sausage-like physique. The final person to be traveling with Alves-Hyde, Stern, Newell, and Studley will be Maurice "twinkle toes" Monge. You may remember him from his stellar performance in the Nutcracker, or perhaps for how fast he is delivering pizza's on his bike. If not, then you surely remember him for his red spandex shorts, which he will hopefully be wearing for the Far West. Alves-Hyde, Monge, Newell, Stern, and Studley represent 90% of Hellyer's population between the ages of 20 and 30. And they look forward to some SoCal asswhooping to honor their elders this weekend, who will sadly not be accompanying them.

looking dopey

2009-05-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

let's view some famous garrett lau action and glamor shots!

image 1: madison, fail.

here is karla throwing me in. brian peterson will not be happy because i am so far away from karla. sorry brian! also to observe is karla's amazing grimace. it is like she is throwing in 200lb person. and yes, garret is right, i do look kind dopey.

image 2: the madison "oh shit" shot
here is me throwing in karla. please observe my "oh shit" face.

image 3: miss 'n out miracleso this is apparently when there were 6 of us left in the race. as you can see i am sitting last place about 5m from the line. somehow i didn't get elimated, so that is why we are calling this the miss 'n out miracle shot.

image 4: the protypical garrett lau glamour shot

yes, this is the glamour shot without paying $29.95 at the mall. but somehow, yes, even i can look a bit dopey in a glamour shot.

and just in from garrett: "Also, the 'glamour shot' is a different aspect ratio than the original, so it makes your face look fat."

bahahahhaha

maaaa---diiiiii----soooon!!!

2009-05-14T00:17:00.000-07:00

well i completed my first madison today!

actually, that is only a half truth. i kinda sort did a madison with mary last year during the get ready for summer series, but i am not really counting that, because i was scared to death during that race and didn't actually take my hands off the bars once--so i d

on't think that counts.

it was a total blast. kingsley was my partner and it was an awesome person to duo with! i mean, of the 40 laps race... we maybe finished 35 laps... perhaps 30... but we didn't crash and didn't do anything sketch, so i would call that a success. in fact, karla even got a shout out by rick adams on the microphone, on how nicely she was passing over and catching a wheel.

it was super fun -- and i felt that with each exchange i was grimmicing and grunting more and more...however, i guess that is not the case.

garrett lau was there to take some pictures and he just told me: "In the madison, I got two sharp photos of your exchanges. In both of them, you have a dopey expression."

i guess even when i think i am making a cool face, i still look dopey.

here is a mosaic picture jenny oh took of us before the race. we are wearing the cheetah jersies. rick had this whole cool bag of whacky jersies for us to wear! they were so cool i want to wear them all the time.

i loved it! not much more else to say!

oh yeah, we did do other races....... let's see....

20lap points race- i was a *huge* sissy-- as i attempted to ride a big gear (well, 90" big for me!) and my butt hurt real bad and i felt so incredibly sluggish and couldn't turn it over at all. so i pulled out and switched it. scratch race- 88" made me much happier and i moved okay around the pack and contested the final sprint to get fourth...with mateo passing me right at the line. next time, gadget! miss n out- i hate this race, but have been doing better at it. stayed near the front riding wheels, played devil a few times when in bad spots and moved back up to the front. made it to the top 3, then wasn't aggressive enough in the last sprint, so got 3rd, but was happy with that. that race still stresses me out! snowball- never had done this, and i definitely made some major tactical errors, and only got three points... so not so good. don't know what i placed in the omnium, but i got a fourth and a third, so that has got to count for something and is better than normal for me.... to end off the night, we did the madison, which i already talked about. wow, five races-- wednesday nights just cram it all in!

i will post the pictures of me looking dopey when garrett uploads them this weekend. then you can all make fun of me.

yay yay yay!

2009-05-13T11:17:00.000-07:00

https://new.sportsbaseonline.com/events/index.xhtml?categoryId=2464

Registration is now open for Hellyer's American Velodrome Challenge, June 26-27. Registration for the 2009 AVC is first-come, first-serve.

This year's AVC has three races where cash prizes for each race is $1800 with $1000 going to the winner:
Peckham Memorial Men's Points Race
Concept Cyclery Women's Point Race
Montano Velo Men's Keirin.
The total cash prizes for the weekend is $14,475 with $6,600 for the men, $5,475 for the women, $1,400 for the master and an additional $1000 in the Madison.

To see race announcement: www.ridethetrack.com/avc/avc_announce.html

Unfortunately, we really do have strict field limits. So register now.

https://new.sportsbaseonline.com/events/index.xhtml?categoryId=2464

Rick Adams